it's sunday morning and i'm actually uploading the song early this week. i've been up all night again and am actually looking forward to a lengthy sleep.
three weeks into the school year, and how are things going? frankly, i'm just not really interested. i'd rather hang out downstairs and jam.
i don't want to suggest that i've developed some kind of anti-intellectual streak or something. i'm still in favour of education in an abstract sense, i'm just not really sure that it's really for me. i know i'm still young though, too, and i don't want to close doors and then one day wish i hadn't closed them. that's what the adults tell me, and i think it's good advice. so, i'm continuing to go through the motions with the least amount of effort and participation that i can possibly apply.
i've actually gotten in the habit of sleeping during morning classes. well, i'd be figuratively sleeping through them if i wasn't literally sleeping through them - it's french in first period (which i just can't pretend i'm interested in. i'm sorry. this is just inefficient and pointlessly redundant, to me. why can't i take science for the whole year, instead? i don't even have science this fall, i have to wait until next semester :\) and math in second period (which is just a free time slot - he literally just writes the chapters on the board). i tend to wake up halfway through math, then catch up on both subjects in the second half. because i can, i guess? i have english after lunch, and then exploratory - but i've gotten in the habit of skipping exploratory. they're literally expecting me to sit in a room and draw pictures made out of dots. it's fucking ridiculous. as busy work, it belongs in the fifth grade. "i'd rather be anywhere else, doing anything". so, i'm basically boycotting it and almost daring them to fail me....
we're looking at your university application and seeing you have As in math and science, but failed grade 10 pointillism. we're going to have to reject your application. i'm sorry.
right now, my head is just in my guitar and not in a classroom. why fight that? i mean, why not just self-lobotomize while i'm at it? if i'm getting something out of the music, and nothing out of the school, why immerse myself in the less fulfilling option? it's just masochism, really. i'm only fifteen, but i'm old and wise enough to realize that there's no inherent purpose or meaning in existence and consequently no use in torturing yourself for no good reason.
so, i've been coming home from school early and locking myself in the room until the sun comes up, then dragging myself to school and sleeping when i get there. if that's the choice i'm going to make, what do i have to show for it? what concrete results are there?
this brand new song developed out of a jam with myself, while inspired by the smashing pumpkins concert last week. it was actually very spontaneous; i just happen to have been recording, and i went from there. it was a situation where i really just let my fingers run loose on their own for the bulk of the recording....
the lyrics were likewise very much stream of consciousness, and the truth is that there's not much use in applying a level of thought to them that i didn't apply to them, myself. it was just what came out. i mean, songs have to have vocals, right? it's just what songs are. unless they're slow songs, i guess. but all rock songs have vocals. by definition.
