caulking gun

hi.

i got a third coat in today, then ran out of caulk. it *looks* like it could use another coat, but, putting my hand up against it, i no longer feel a draft. so i'm content to leave it like that, but the truth is that i don't really know if it's enough. i'll check again tonight when the temperature comes down a bit, but it really seems tight. clearly, the gap was pretty deep to need three coats and still look like it needs more. but i think you can take your caulking gun back when you want.

j

actually, now i'm remembering that i sent it through a hiss reduction. it's funny how the memory is reactivated, just how much is in there seemingly dormant and waiting to jump out and scare you...

and, now i remember why i converted the choir to orchestra - the choir patch was hopelessly noisy.

i'm trying to render each line separately in cubase to see if the noise disappears. that's going to take about an hour and a half..

i was on track to beat august most of september, but it's dipped the last few days and it's now very unlikely that i'm going to get there. it'll be off by about 100 hits.

i therefore don't care about the curve any more....

it's actually probably for the best. i think i was wasting too much time trolling to beat the curve, with little concrete return. i simply wasn't generating much of an audience out of it. just empty metrics.

i'm not going to stop trolling altogether, but the recent trolls i've been posting on viral videos are going to stop. the audience is too broad for the music i'm making, so it's just a waste of time.

in a broader scheme, i guess i have a bit of an internet addiction, and that's how it's been working itself out. it's worked itself out in a lot of ways for a long time - usenet, mailing lists, forums, facebook, now youtube....i jump...i should really stop just for that reason. i get lost in it and it eats away time i should be spending doing something else. i pried myself away from facebook about a year ago by deleting almost everybody, and a few months later i'm basically glued to youtube wasting my time the same way...

so, yes: the internet addiction has been restricting my progress in completing these pieces. i'm aware of it. i have been the whole time, but i was rationalizing it with the curve. i'm increasing views! it's productive! but the curve is gone. i've gained some perspective on it. i'm going to show more restraint..

i think the key for now is just avoiding the "youtube trends" page altogether and retreating back to the habits i had a few months ago, which weren't destructive.

so, i'm going to have to expect a bit of a dip for october. but the reality is that getting less hits from better traffic sources is better than getting more hits from weaker traffic sources.

the other thing is i've started smoking again. some people connect smoking to coffee. i connect it to internet debates. post a reply, go for a smoke, check for replies, repeat. i need to stop that, too.

so, i'm rebooting yet again - no youtube trolling, no smoking, more focus on the tunes. hopefully this one sticks....

there's a lot of addiction in my family, but i really don't have any problems with alcohol or drugs - although i should clarify that i haven't done any serious drugs for the precise reason that there's addiction in my family. i've turned down every opportunity i've had to try cocaine because i *know* it's going to get me. the idea of staying up for days at a time is something i'd get very attached to, so attached i'd be dead within a year. i'll just drink two pots of coffee a day instead, thanks.

the only thing that's ever really gotten me hard is the internet. i'm not in denial when i say i don't have much of a problem quitting smoking (i do it all the time...for weeks...but then go back to it...), but more of a problem in *wanting* to quit smoking.

with the internet, it's really more the classic problem of wanting to spend less time ranting and having difficulty controlling myself with it.