Tuesday, June 30, 2015

so, i need to leave around 7:00 to do a compost drop-off, which is a little later in terms of compost drop-offs; i need to swing by staples after and get some ink. hopefully, they have the right type. i still haven't fixed my bike, so getting to best buy requires a bus ride...i need to prioritize that, but it won't be until after i figure out my odsp situation....

i'll need to get some groceries on the way back, and then do some beginning of the month cleaning stuff. that may actually take two days, but then i'm clear for weeks and weeks.

i've got the first five of these songs mixed. they're all instrumentals. i'm only going to remaster vocals for about five of these (there's 22).

i've decided on the output:

1) inrinterpreted will be the final and mostly instrumental versions. i'm going to have to cut a couple for the final, as it's going to be around 100 minutes (i'll have them up for download). i'll probably cut the instrumentals and the covers.
2) there will be an electronic soundscape disc composed of just the ry30, jx-8p and digital additions. i'm enforcing a strict "no guitars or bass" policy. this will be an ep. it exists somewhere between tangerine dream and very early autechre.
3) i've pulled out three songs that i consider to be of extra importance - confused, schizoid and "mom". they will each get singles with multiple remixes. i'll be working on these last.

i'm not going to be focusing on the "continuity" tracks for this, because they've already been split out - between inrisampled, warning and the 0th ambient works, they are all available somewhere else.

there is one song - "too cold" - that i do not have source material for. that tape would have also had "exit" on it. i simply don't know where it is; chances of finding it are essentially zero. as i stated somewhere else, it's actually remarkable how much of this stuff i DO have...

so, the mixing should be no more than a week. i'm going to assume each single will be around a week. so, this should be up around the end of july or the beginning of august. i'm going to wait to upload this, it's just the nature of it...

so, that means i'm renumbering...

Monday, June 29, 2015

there is definitely something wrong with ironic hipster homophobia

initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/there-is-definitely-something-wrong-with-ironic-hipster-homophobia

if god somehow does exist, it is sadistic and should be destroyed

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/if-god-somehow-does-exist-it-is-sadistic-and-should-be-destroyed

hey god (absolutely backwards mix)

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-absolutely-backwards-mix

hey god (straight forwards mix)

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-straight-forwards

aliens are more likely than god (initial upload)

initially written in 1996. recreated in march, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/aliens-are-more-likely-than-god
the algorithm can't work because it's based on a percentage, and it's just not how cubase time shifts (that would work if i was doing this in cool edit). but i'm looking at roughly 7.5% of a second per minute - it's small, but starkly noticeable after about two minutes.

i have a few done, but i'm going to wait to upload it together. right now, i'm building two collections - a collection of just flat out instrumental mixes and a collection of remastered electronic soundscapes. that should take me through about 70% of it, and it's just process of straight mixing (and time shifting). it could be done by tomorrow.

i need to do things tomorrow, but then i could have as much as two whole months ahead of me of nothing but focus. the odsp is mailed. the tax returns appear to be dealt with. as far as i can tell, july is dead in detroit. and the only thing i really want to check out in august is noise legend alexander hacke, of einsturzende neubauten, but it depends on what he's doing.

by the end of august, i should get at least back up to where i was before i backtracked - which was finishing some end of period 2 comps, sequencing record number seven and starting on the lost symphony.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

werso smidits (initial upload)

originally written in 1996. recorded in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/werso-smidits

the threat of terrorism is used to restrict civil liberties (initial upload)

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-threat-of-terrorism-is-used-to-restrict-civil-liberties
i think i found the pattern.

1/3 and 2/4 are in sync with each other, as they're on the same bus. and it seems like the difference is constant. if i can pinpoint it directly, i should be able to create an algorithm.
change of tactic...

i'm going to build the tracks i'm pretty sure i'm not going to reinterpret further, first. depending on how it comes out, this may be faster. and it will allow me to pinpoint things and rule things out.
so, i spent the last 36 hours trying to line a bass part up with a drum part, only to realize i'd just warped all the character out of the bass by the time it was done. i was able to fix it by reimporting the file and setting it to the markers i'd found, and it seems to be lined up well enough. but, because of this unexpected complexity in mixing, i'm not going to be replacing any of the tracks on inri004 or inri006 - they're not going to be interchangeable, and i need to maintain those records as documents of the period, even when the vocals are stupid. a better idea is to create a standalone with instrumental remixes - the inrinterpreted record i was contemplating.

the only two singles i'm relatively certain of right now are "schizoid" and "confused", but this is going to be the third or fourth mix of a lot of these tracks, meaning i could end up with many more than that. "mom" makes sense as a single, if i can build the score up enough.

i'm seeing little option but to renumber, unless i can keep the additions to exactly two, in which case i'll take the two demos to negative territory.

what this means is that i'm not going to upload any of this until it's all done. it's going to be quiet here for what will likely be a few weeks.

it's not clear to me if any patterns are going to arise in terms of the tracks being out of sync. if this becomes a consistent nightmare, i may even cut it short.

another option i could try is to resend the files in by splitting them over stereo; i could put the electronics and guitars on one channel and the bass on the other. it's really the bass that needs attention, more than the rest. but some of the guitar tracks have multiple overdubs that need some eq work, so it can't be a general solution. that would sync them correctly. but it's not my first option....

4-track recording is of course always mono, unless you use two tracks, which i never did.

the other thing is that these tapes are 16 or 17 years old. the sync issues may be due to slight warps, and they may not exist in all tracks.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

so, this is going to be very time consuming. i'm getting similar timing issues with lining up the individual tracks, but it's much more subtle - over the course of this five minute song, it seems to be off by about 20-30% of a second, in total. you can't tell for short parts, but it adds up. there's two ways to deal with that - either by stretching the whole thing (trial and error) or by cutting it up into multiple parts and staggering them manually. that is, presuming that i'm right in thinking it's a problem with the whole file, rather than an issue of random errors in sampling.

the other way around it is to take it in from tape as one file, but the whole point is being able to manipulate the separate tracks.

this is more resolvable than trying to line up identical parts because there's an acceptable level of error. but, it's still going to be a while...

i've largely decided to create two singles, for sure, but i'm not sure how to catalog them yet. i may have the first half of the confused single up by tonight but, considering that i'm going to have to build the entire midi file from almost scratch, this is going to take roughly a week to complete.
when i initially created this, i overprogrammed the drums in a way that conflicted with the incoming synths, partly because i didn't have a synth when i programmed it. once i got the synth, it just created a stew of dissonance. so, i sent the file out through mono, which toned it down a bit. before i sold the ry30 (which i deeply regret), i saved all my tracks from the ry30 (in stereo) direct into the soundcard. so, the original recordings are all in mono, but i have a stereo version that i'd like to mix in.

unfortunately, the two versions are out of sync. i understand why and can try to explain it a little. it has to do with the difference in how analog and digital waves store data, and is reproducible in general. you can try it yourself if you have the right gear. all you'd need to do is take a vinyl or cassette version of something and send it in to your soundcard, then take a digital cd-rip of the same song. obviously, it has to be the same master and everything. then, compare the tracks. you'll notice that they may differ in length by as much as about 0.5 second per minute. another way you can verify this is by looking up old songs on youtube - look for beatles songs or something. you'll notice the time varies by a few seconds, depending on the source of the upload.

i'm experiencing this because i sent the digital signal to tape and back to digital when i created it, and just sent it straight from digital when i saved the drum parts.

now, you're not going to hear a significant difference in this if you do an a/b. it's a microtone of a microtone in shift; indiscernible to human ears. but, it creates a problem when it comes to mixing the source.

i'm going to try and line it up, but this is an almost impossible task that i will no doubt have to concede defeat on. what that means is that the electronic version i wanted to do is going to have to be built from scratch. and what that means is that i'm almost certainly going to be doing a "confused" single, which will compile versions from the 96 demo, the 98 demo and the new (instrumental) construction i'm about to make.

the process requires trying to time-shift (in this case compress) the drum machine part to the exact length on the tape, which can only be done throgh trial and error. the difference over 5 minutes is about two seconds. if i'm off by the slightest fraction of a second, it will become noticeable by the end of the song. and, you get weird phasing issues when you do this kind of thing, too.

on top of that, there's no baseline - and the drum machine part from tape also includes multiple synths. like, if i knew they came from the same file, i could pinpoint it by finding markers. that's not an option here, because they even came in through different soundcards...

given that i know that this is virtually impossible, i'm not going to focus too much time on it.

Friday, June 26, 2015

i'm going to line everything up and mix, whether i use it or not. it's useful.

i've decided that i'm going to finish scores for a few of these and put them on thru, which is what i was thinking of doing with them, but backed away from due to time constraints; but, i removed some things from thru, which opens up space after all. so, that works out well. as before, the rule with thru is that it has to be midi music. i'm thinking two of these will end up there.

for some of them, i'm happy with the inricycled edits in terms of saving them. these tracks don't have overly interesting song structures, and i'm not really gaining much by stripping the vocals out.

others, i'm thinking i may just insert into the relevant records as replacements. some of the vocals work well enough as satire that i don't really want to move way from them. others are just flat out bad, even by teenager standards.

lastly, there may be a separate release for instrumental works, depending on how much i play with the records. i'll have to figure that out when it happens. it may end up on the end of inricycled,depending on track lengths.

so, i'm going to start by looking at "confused", which i'm thinking about making a midi version for.
package sent. now, i wait.

i should be able to get enough of a start on this project tonight to be able to get a feel as to how it's going to work itself out.
Sure There’s a Catch…

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to. 

This is an interesting issue for me to approach, because the reality is somewhat circular. I’ve presented myself to several professionals looking for a longer term diagnosis (which is truly what I was seeking as I embarked on this path; please see the attached document, with my first write-up), and they’ve been unable to determine any symptoms. I’m left with no option but to agree that I am not demonstrating symptoms. However, there’s a catch – I am not demonstrating symptoms because ODSP has left me stable and happy, by allowing me to immerse myself in my art. If I’m not demonstrating symptoms, I should not qualify for ODSP; but if I lose the ODSP, I will again begin to demonstrate symptoms, and need to go back on ODSP.

See, the truth is that I truly am unstable – a glance at my unwritten biography would demonstrate that clearly. I have been without an address several times, and am prone to absurd behaviour when placed under stress. I’ve been fired repeatedly, and unable to find a job for many years. I really should be grounded. Yet, my concern for my safety appears rational to the professional observer. Hence, requests for diagnosis are misunderstood as evidence of stability.

Rather than try and obfuscate, I believe I should be honest: I am not just currently stable and happy. I am actually currently more stable and happier than I’ve ever been in my life. My prerogative to argue for stasis is consequently not merely a desire to prevent the inevitable collapse I will face should I be denied ODSP, but to actively argue for it as the best case scenario for me. It’s almost an appeal for benevolence.

I think that, when discussing an individual’s qualification for disability, there are three perspectives to analyze. The first is whether the applicant is able to work. The second is whether the applicant is able to find work. The third is whether the applicant desires work. I believe that these issues are not disconnected, but are very interrelated and that the causal forces acting between them can be very complex.

One way to see that this is true is to look at the results of my cra application in 2008. I wrote several tests for this application and did very well on the ones that were “competency” related. My GCT2 mark was actually exceedingly high; I earned a mark of 80/90 on this test, in a competition where the minimum pass was 51/90. When I went in to the interview, they told me it was the highest mark they’ve ever seen on that test. This would appear to indicate not just competence but possible excellence. Yet, my grade on the situational judgement test (a workplace behaviour test) was so poor that I was removed from the competition. I failed that test twice more over the next few years. Together, that indicates that I would have likely been capable of performing the task asked of me, and perhaps even of excelling at it, but that I would not have been able to adjust to the workplace environment – and consequently could not be hired. In fact, I actually agree with the combined results, as it fits my experience of frequent firings and infrequent attendance at school, even while my performance was strong and my grades were high. While other employers may be less rigorous in their hiring, they seem to be able to intuitively understand this about me and avoid me as a result of it. It does then follow that my anxiety is a block; when I’ve been forced to try and get around it because I have no other choice but to get around it in order to pay rent and bills it nonetheless continues to flag me as a problem and either make me an unviable candidate or a swiftly terminated employee. I consequently can’t work because I can’t find work because of the condition.

The gender dysphoria is not insignificant in piecing this together, as it is one of the dominant causes of the anxiety. This works on two levels – both on the level of unrealistic expectations and on the level of a self-consciousness that manifests itself as a lack of confidence, which is devastating in context. Even when I was living as a male, it was something that was easily “figured out”, which created some pretty bad attitudes and behind-the-back murmurings. I don’t feel there’s an answer to this. My gender/body combination remains at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

I claim I am happy and stable on ODSP, but did I ever seek labour? I have teenager memories of being excited about saving money up to get certain things. My first major purchase was a cd burner in 1998, back when such things were still novel. I worked two or three jobs at a time over the summers of 2002 and 2003, and while it was hectic I was happy to contribute to my education. I worked for Microsoft over 2006 and legitimately enjoyed it; I was able to take that money to get my own apartment and buy some recording gear. Employment provided me with financial independence and control over my means of production. So, the answer is an unambiguous yes: I have actively sought and enjoyed labour in the past.

However, in time, prejudicial attitudes began to sink in – and it’s a contribution to the anxiety. My interests have converged to things that are outside any kind of concept of wage labour. For many years, I’ve looked at employment very cynically, with the understanding that I’m wasting my time somewhere doing something I don’t care about with people that don’t respect me. Over 2007 and 2008 (the last time I was employed), I called in sick repeatedly – often because I just couldn’t get up to go in due to anxiety and depression. I would also leave work early due to depression, which tended to manifest itself in powerful headaches and short tempers. I have not experienced any of these problems over the last two years; I have been stable and happy. Alas, that catch-22…

Yet, do I not want to work, to contribute? Well, let’s reverse the question around. I think there are two reasons why people might want to work. The first is for the benefit of society - altruism. The second is for personal gain - individualism. But what is personal gain? A stock broker may argue that it is about capital accumulation, whereas an athlete may argue it’s about being the best. As an artist, I find these things actually overlap more than they contradict – the art is made both for me and for everybody else. Expression for the sake of expression is the most valuable form of personal gain, and asking challenging questions is the thing I’m most suited to do in society. If the goal is to maximize personal gain through contributing to society, I don’t think that work is the way to do that; I think that art is the way to do that.

Yet, how did I get there? How did I decide that expression is personal gain? Why not competition, or accumulation, or material wealth? Well, in all of these cases the root cause is the same: its sexual dominance. The use value of a car is hardly worth its price; nowadays I walk most places, but I’ve never had a need for such a thing, between bicycles and city busses.  If anything, it puts the car owner into an impossible loop: they need to go to work to pay for a car that they only use to go to work. It’s running on a treadmill; except, it isn’t, because a car is a status symbol, and that status symbol is a tool to compete with peers for the sexual interests of others. Competition, accumulation and materialism are often blamed for the violence we experience in our society, but they are merely masking the sexual motives underlying their fetishization. As an individual who has undergone voluntary chemical castration, these motives are not valid to me. Rather, my motives for personal gain are largely intellectual – and no labour, at any salary, can appeal to me on this level. Nor can I hide this reality from interviewers – it is a part of the visible anxiety that sets in. So, I cannot work because I can’t find work because I don’t want to work because of the condition.

I believe that humans are malleable creatures and that I could no doubt be conditioned out of this, but to what end? Is it worth the state’s time and energy to put a hopelessly apathetic personality type through therapy so that it can flip burgers for minimum wage? Excuse me for being jaded by the prospect…

So, what happens if I get this renewed? Well, I have a lot of art to work on, and would continue to apply myself to it over thirty hour work days of happy, strenuous and productive labour. Its value is perhaps unclear, but I think I can make a bigger difference to society through my opinions than I ever can through wage labour, and I’m certain I’ll be happier and more stable that way. What happens if this is denied? It is exceedingly unlikely that I will be able to find employment, and if I do I will no doubt be very unhappy. I will likely become very depressed and completely unstable; a suicide attempt is not unlikely, which will generate further documents which will get me back on odsp - until I’m stable again, no doubt.

Rather than forcing me to continue to rebuild these sandcastles on the beach after every tide, I propose that you allow me to rebuild further from shore by granting me the longest disability term that you can. For me, this is really the only workable solution to my problems, and removing the solution will accomplish nothing but bring them all back again.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

and, i think the argument of comparing my general competency test score (which is off the charts, just unheard of, nobody gets 90% on these tests) to my inability to pass the workplace behaviour test is compelling. apparently, i'm a genius. but i'm also apparently incapable of behaving in a work environment.
i can write an essay in an hour (see: this thread), but i need to get going on this. i bought a pack of smokes to keep me up all night, it would be stupid for me to waste that. i need to eat first, though. and i need to read over some old posts, first.

i've been toying in my mind the idea of being systematic about it by looking at the following three options: inability to work, inability to find work and unwillingness to work. i kind of want to explore the intersectionalities of these three ideas. but i need to look at the precise essay question a little more closely and make sure i'm actually answering the right question.
again: let's just see what i can come up with, and go from there.
i actually think i should be able to reconstruct most of the first one. the bigger question is whether it's going to be interesting as an instrumental work - and i think it mostly will be. it's the second one that's a little more up in the air, partly because it was constructed largely from the outtakes from the first one. but i'm going to just go through each of the files in the order they were recorded (not the order they're sequenced), finish them in every possible way i can think of and then figure out what i want to do with them.

see, the thing is that each of the first three tracks already have three or four versions, so they're already naturally "singles". and if i end up with ten singles, i have nowhere to put them.

i might explore the idea of putting them in as inri04a, inri04b, etc. that's kind of crappy.

or, i might crack and renumber. i've sold three discs so far, and they're all to the same person. it's not the most profound problem if those discs end up renumbered. i don't like this idea, but it's more important that the discography has it's proper shape.
so, i could end up with anywhere from 10 to 60 more tracks out of this. *shrug*.

i mean, my analysis of this period is that it's actually interesting music. i just don't like the vocals. at the same time, i want the period documented properly. again: i wish i had checked the tapes, because i would have realized the tracks are not at all "lost" and i would have completed it in sequence. i kind of thought i only had two or three tracks to work with (the ones i kept sequences for), not 22 of them.
but i may add things, if i think it's an answer.

i was putting this off because other things were more important. but i'm actually done the phase i really wanted done, and pretty much everything left is some kind of big project or another. it's as good a time as any...
of course, one of the things i'll have to try and figure out is just how much of it actually stands up as instrumental music. a lot of it was written as verse-chorus-verse-bridge-chorus, which can sometimes work, but sometimes doesn't. the vocals are mostly lame. but there's no point in replacing lame with lame. and i'm not rewriting 20 year old vocal parts...
i can't predict how long this will take, or how long it will be until i'm back to where i was. a month, maybe. it depends on how much i do. but whatever i do is the end of it.
there's 22 tracks from the tapes; the rest of the tracks from this period (98-99; inri and inriched) are purely digital. these 22 tracks are digitized across each channel on the four-track. for starters, i'm going to want to strip the vocals out of almost all of them (excluding the ones that are already instruumental). then i'm going to want to see how closely i can reconstruct the records, as they were. if i can do this reasonably well, i'll probably just turn inri and inriched into double records, with the original vocal versions on the flip side. that will take care of the bulk of it. then i'm going to need to chew on whether i want to replace the remasters i did in 2013 with the original mixes.

some of them, i'm going to want to compile together into electronic soundscapes that just include the drum machine, some synths and maybe some added vst synths. i'll no doubt crack on some guitars. this may require some rewriting; i'm letting myself go in reinterpreting them. this is what i was planning on being it's own release, sequenced some time in 2016. but it needs to be on this aleph-release, so i need to do this now. i'd have to sequence this to about march, 1999, which means i may turn inricycled B into a double or just replace it. anything else, i don't know. further remixes could conceivably end up on inrimixed.

see, i was thinking of doing this in singles, though. if it turns out that that makes sense, i may have to drop the two demos into negative territory. in truth, i don't actually consider either of them real releases, so i'm ok with doing that, although i obviously don't really want to...
i could convert some of them into doubles. or i may just leave it specific to the dvd. but it has to be dealt with now.

so, inriℵ0 is not complete, after all.

i won't have this problem with the other alephs.
ugh.

basically, when i looked at rehabilitating the inri material as the process of completing the discography almost two years ago, i fucked up. i just let what existed exist as it was. since then, i've taken a more comprehensive look at what i was doing, creating all these singles. that wasn't the initial plan...

i wanted to put a few of the tracks aside for a "chiptune" disc. that became the thru record, composed of material written from 2001-2003. however, it was initially supposed to also include material written over 1997-1998. after some mental gymnastics, i decided to put it off to a future release.

but, now the chronology is all screwed up. what i should have done was finish these files in 2013, and create singles for them.

i also didn't realize that the tapes were in such good condition. i should have checked that...

now that i'm closing the first period...i want everything contained.

i have a few options - i could append them to inrisampled, inrimixed, inrijected or the second inricycled. but none of it's really sitting as well.

i'm going to have to think this through carefully. but whatever i end up doing has to end up on this aleph-0 disc. otherwise, it's sitting open for who knows how long, when the whole point is to permanently close it.

i have to write my odsp essay first, though. but when i come back to this tomorrow, it's going to be with the aim of looking at each of these old song and figuring out exactly what i want to do with each of them. and that's probably going to mean just doing it, in sequence, and then figuring out how to present the material afterwards.
i've been playing with these aleph discs for a few months and turning various ideas over in my head. a rough concept of period discs for $100 and album box sets for $50 has stabilized, but the contents have fluctuated quite a bit.

as i'm currently finalizing the end of my second compositional period, these aleph discs need to be permanently finalized and put away.

after experimenting with various ideas, i've decided that there is no way out of a comprehensive period one disc. these pieces are too integrated to split at any rational point without splitting ideas across the set. nor does it make sense to put it in a 2xdvd due to the html front-end. rather, it must exist on a dual-layered dvd.

this is literally everything i recorded in the 90s, and the compilation is comprehensive - both mastered & unmastered mixes of everything i can find, unsequenced mixes, outtakes, discarded remixes, used remixes and anything and everything else from the period. it also comes with detailed liner notes - both distributed across the front end and in standalone 130 page documents, in word and pdf formats.

this was a lengthy process because it required cleaning off hundreds of pages of writing on my facebook wall and converting the necessary parts into a front-end. the next couple of these discs will happen much more quickly, as they really mostly just needs to be formatted. it appears, however, that it will take a few more weeks to completely finish this period.

for now, this is inriℵ0 - finally, permanently and irreversibly finished. so, i'm finally permanently moving on...

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/period-1-2

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

ugh.

well, i'm going to get another day of compiling in, anyways. i can't really write the essay until i get the papers, and i'm not going to get the papers until tomorrow.

right now, i've been awake far too long and need to sleep. but, the second aleph will be much faster, considering it's only a year's worth of material, is already in easy access mode and is much more self-contained.

part of why i decided to do this is that i won't know what the full period 2 set is going to look like until i get it all in front of me - it could be two or three discs (four is unlikely), and will depend on how 36-52 finish up. i'll have to do some mixing, first, when i get there.
inriℵ0 is completed..

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/period-1-2
working the document down to just the music posts produces 500 printer sized pages - which is about a 1000 page novel.

i've repeatedly been told i should write a book. journal format is maybe not what they meant, but there it is.

just the aleph-0 disc - which is all backposting - is 130 pages, which is a 250 page novel. the period two disc, which includes more recent documentation, is going to be about a 500-600 page novel.

so, that's why this front-end is taking so long. but, hey, look at it the other way - you get one of the aleph-discs and you get a free e-book, in doc and pdf formats.

by the time i get done period four, i'm going to have a hefty 4,000 page four volume autobiography....

that's fine. that's why i'm doing this.

i'm stopping to eat, but i need to be up overnight and i may actually get it done, after all. i just need to set up the last portion of that document in html format, and then run through it a final time with a fine comb.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

so, the page is cleaned. it's very incomplete, especially from 2003-2012, but it's cleaned. i'd encourage you to actually scroll downwards to see what the page will look like, moving forwards. there's a lot of posts, but it's now manageable; it shouldn't time out, and it's much more to the point. it's meant as a historical document, now, rather than a journal.

ok

hi.

i'm still working through in my head what went wrong. not in 2005. i understand that, and didn't really have a problem letting you go, then. we agreed it was a mutual breakup due to different life goals. it's what happened in 2010ish that i can't figure out.

i'm realizing that my memory of our communication between about 2005 and 2010 is very poor. i remember you coming over sometimes. i remember walking in the experimental farm with you. i remember eating lunch with your family up at catherine & bank. i remember fixing your computer. but i also have some fuzzier, stranger memories - like not going to see you when you had amnesia. i don't even know if that actually happened, if you ever even had amnesia or what i was thinking if it did. it seems uncharacteristic. i may have been thinking that it's for the best, but it doesn't seem like to me to think that. and it may even be the answer i'm seeking.

i think a part of the reason my memory is so poor over that period is that my diet was terrible. but i dream a lot, both awake and asleep. i live in my own head. and, i'm consequently not sure what really happened and what didn't. combined, that's a problem, because i may remember things that didn't happen, and i might have forgotten things that did. my behaviour and statements may be glaring contradictions, because i have such a difficulty pulling out what happened and what i imagined happened, during or after it happened.

i have to consequently resign myself to not being able to figure it out, unless you explain it to me. which is all i was ever looking for in the first place.

i don't really remember what i typed in all those emails, either.

standing where i am, now, 500 km away and with little chance of ever communicating with you again, i'm just wishing things turned out better. a little self-reflection demonstrates the point that i'm sort of crazy - i'm telling you that i can't discern between history and fantasy, or remember freaking out, or even realize when i'm contradicting myself, and that's maybe a little unsettling. but, people like me need some support structures, too. you need to take us as we are, or not at all. i've just been unable to process your decision, as i didn't think it was in the realm of possibility. and, even now, i'm still thinking this is temporary - even though it clearly isn't.

maybe it's pathetic. i guess i've just had very few friends. actual friends; i don't mean people you hang out with, but actual friends. in fact, i think you might be the one and only friend i ever had, besides my father. so, i'm sorry if you ever thought i was more than pathetic. again, you have to take us as we are or not at all. not with a level of sympathy, or even a level of empathy, but just with acceptance. and i just can't grasp that you aren't - i'm searching for blocks, misunderstandings, misinterpretations....

i've been compiling data on my earliest musical releases in order to put them away permanently: building biographies, gear lists, facebook timelines - things like that. but when i'm done i'm going to dive head first into the music i created when i knew you. that's going to bring back a lot of memories - no doubt both real and imagined.

i'm not writing this to warn you of a further breakdown. if that happens, i'll keep it to myself. if i felt there was a purpose in talking things through in 2010, i don't feel there still is, today - you've made your disinterest clear.

however, i think that you have the right to read my summaries as i put them up, and to suggest corrections if you feel it's worthwhile. so, i feel the responsibility to send you links to these pages when they're published. it's up to you to decide how to respond.

you will be referred to simply as "sarah". nobody that doesn't know me will know who you are, and people that know me will know you who are, anyways.

i think a part of the reason i'm holding to some of this is that i never completed the recordings. working through complex psychological issues is a part of being an artist; needing art to work through complex psychological issues is a common theme in people with mental illnesses. for years, i put it off to avoid it, and then the shit hit the fan as i was - i should add that, in addition to the instability brought on by hormones, i was working out songs about you when i freaked out.

as i work these pieces out to their final conclusions, i will finally be working through what i need to work through to get to some kind of end point. i think so, anyways. i hope.

my future is not what you may have imagined for me at some point. i live alone. i don't work. i immerse myself in the things that are important to me. i've actually been very stable and very content the last few years; where i am right now is that i don't want things to change. i'll probably live this way for as long as i have left to live....

but, i think i'll stop contacting you when i get these songs down. there's a lot of them, and it will take a while. but that closure is on it's way.

i apologize for being incapable of getting to this end point sooner, for not being able to understand what's happening around me and for persistently bothering you, for many years, to help me understand it.

it'll be done with, soon.

i think. i hope...

j
done. i'm just going to hit a run through the activity log tonight, and then i can get to building the rest of the page up.
if you're curious, the document i'm storing this in is now well over 2,000 pages. that's 2000 pages @ 8.5x11, 12 pt font - standard, except my margins are as wide as you can print them. that doesn't include any posts i've made to google, and only includes at most a quarter of the posts to my political/philosophical ranting page. nor does it include the frequent ranting i posted to cbc before 2011, my facebook group posts (mostly occupy related) or any of my posts to newsgroups or mail lists in the 90s (all of which appear to be permanently lost.). even with these substantial restrictions, this document could quite easily exceed 10,000 pages - and that's just ranting since 2010. i also have a significant archive of rants, theories and analysis worked into a web site i've periodically run, and cleaning this up and publishing it will be the focus of the remainder of my life, once i've completed my discography. the document will be available for download as a pdf when it is completed.
the page is cleaned up to the end of 1999 and from 2013-2015. this is the vast majority of what's been posted, so it's almost done. but, because it's almost done, it makes more sense to just finish from 2000-2013. at least then i can feel like something is completed moving into the essay i need to write on wednesday night and mail on thursday morning.

so, the way this page is going to work going forward is that i'm going to wipe it as a part of my monthly cleaning routine. floors. toilets. facebook page.

i will eventually move somewhere else, but the cost-benefit analysis over how much time that would take makes it unappealing, at least until i get my disability situation cleared up. i was hoping this clean up what take a week or two, not a month or two. but, as i keep telling myself, this is really necessary to create something self-contained, and now is the right time to do it to put this material behind me once and for all.

right now, i need to eat. i could conceivably be done most of 2000-2013 by the time i decide to sleep.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

i've now finally cleared out 2014 - and although i'm still irked by what i lost, it's minor in the larger scope of things. i just need to run through it a last time and see if there's anything i need to reconstruct.

i'm going to clear out 2015 overnight because there are some period one updates in there, and plan to finish it. i''m going to wait until i get to the period 2 disc to clear out 2000-2012.

after that, i'll have to finish constructing the front-end for the disc, which shouldn't take more than two days.

i'm going to lose a few this week, though, because i need to get my disability package mailed on thursday, and i have some writing to do.

it's not likely that i'll finish this by wednesday, but i should get fairly close.

as i'm doing most of the work now, the next few aleph discs should not take nearly as long to build front-ends to.

it's not exactly what i want to be doing, but i feel it's necessary to comprehensively close the first two periods. when i do get done, there should be several quick uploads over 2003-2004.
on one hand, i have 1700 pages of writing in this document. on the other, that discussion was useful.

what i'm going to do is "hide" the posts for now, rather than delete them - then go back and delete them in the activity log when i'm sure they're safe.

a little more time consuming, but fail safe.

i kept saying "i'll save it when i get to the end of june". i could have. then it crashed. i don't know if i can really blame myself for a power outage, but i could have been more attentive.

i sent an email to facebook data recovery but it's a long shot...
ugh...

i made a lot of progress in working through 2014 today, but then i lost a lot of it. word crashed on me a few hours ago, which cut out a good deal of february. that means the comments to the beginning of "stuck" are lost. then, the power randomly went out a few minutes ago, which cost me a good chunk of june. i haven't checked the damage yet, but i think it's mostly discussions about performing the time machine.

this power surge happens from time to time; i turned the heat on for a few hours over night (it's been too cold to open the window, and yet the air is just punishing - there's not another option, besides shivering.), and i think the idiot upstairs woke up and throttled the entire unit by cranking his air up quickly. keep that up. blow your fuse.

i'm not yet at the point where i'm willing to turn it up to 30, but i'm not far from it. the weather just won't stay warm. every time it seems like it's just about warmed up, we get two or three days with lows around 10 degrees, which mean i have to turn the heat back on. well, i should clarify - if it weren't for the air cranking everything out, i wouldn't have to. i might even enjoy the cool down. but i've had a very hard time getting the heat higher than 22 this year - and keep in mind that 22 with the "air conditioner effect" feels a lot colder, closer to 17 - which means that any cool down outside is running up against a total lack of stored heat.

the ritual this year has been that i take my sweater off when i go out and put it on when i come home. there's been days when it's a beautiful 30 degrees out and i'm stuck wearing a sweater inside :(.

again: i need the space right now, for the gear. but i'm out of here as soon as the work is complete. unless he dies before then. that would be preferable, because i hate moving. but i can't handle the air. it brings back a lot of childhood trauma, because my shit for brains stepmother used to do the same thing. but, she was just conditioned to working in a lab, not dangerously obese, and she was never this extreme...

it would have maybe made more sense to copy files over on this laptop, because it's immune to power losses. but, my frontend is on the other machine.

so, i'm going back to it on that machine. i'm just going to have to adopt the annoying convention of saving between every cut & paste.

for now, i'm both wired and frustrated, and i'm going to try and get a few hours of sleep rather than get angry.

accessing deleted page data

jessica
hi.

i have a have facebook music fan page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessica-Murray/41134747113) that i've been posting to extensively over the last few years, to the point that it's overloaded with data. when a user tries to scroll down the wall, posts are missing - and eventually the operation sort of times out by producing empty posts. i've come to the conclusion that facebook is not an ideal site for this kind of high volume journal posting, and am in the process of migrating the data into a scriptless html file to host on my own site.

i've been copying posts into a word document for short term keeping, then deleting the posts on facebook. unfortunately, i suffered a power outage between saves and i lost a significant amount of data.

now, everybody knows that data is archived, but you don't offer the ability to download page archives. there must be a way to get the data through request.

it would actually save me a significant amount of time if i could just get the whole thing in one chunk, but i'm specifically looking for posts made between january 1 and july 1, 2014.

facebook
Hi,

Thank you for contacting us to make a data request. You can access your data on Facebook in several ways. First, you can access your personal data from your account (ex: on your timeline or in your activity log). Second, we provide a tool that allows you to download a copy of your account data. This tool is available from the Account Settings page.

For more information, please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/help/405183566203254

To learn more about your data on Facebook, please read the Data Policy: https://www.facebook.com/about/privacy/

This policy describes:

• Categories of data being processed by Facebook
• Personal data that Facebook receives from Facebook members
• Sources of this info, if known
• Reasons for processing this data
• Recipients or categories of recipients to whom Facebook members’ personal data may be disclosed

To access the self-service download tool from your account:

1. Click the account menu at the top right of any Facebook page
2. Choose Account Settings
3. Click the link at the bottom of the page "Download a copy of your Facebook data"

Note: We have several measures in place to ensure the security of your information, and will require you to confirm your identity to complete the process and access your account information.

Your downloaded file may contain sensitive information. You should keep it secure and take precautions when storing, sending or uploading it to any other services.

You can also access the personal data held in your timeline any time by logging into Facebook.

If you can’t access your account or don’t have an account, please follow the link below to complete a form and request your data:

https://www.facebook.com/help/contact/166828260073047

You may be required to provide additional information to authenticate your identity. 

jessica
i'm sorry, but i feel you didn't understand my request.

i have a have facebook music fan page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessica-Murray/41134747113) and am looking to download data from it that i accidentally deleted.

(pause)

hi.

i sent this a few days ago and got a response about downloading profile data that misunderstood the request. not to be rude, but i'd appreciate it if the request was read a little more closely, so i could receive a coherent response.

i have a have facebook music fan page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessica-Murray/41134747113) that i've been posting to extensively over the last few years, to the point that it's overloaded with data. when a user tries to scroll down the wall, posts are missing - and eventually the operation sort of times out by producing empty posts. i've come to the conclusion that facebook is not an ideal site for this kind of high volume journal posting, and am in the process of migrating the data into a scriptless html file to host on my own site.

i've been copying posts into a word document for short term keeping, then deleting the posts on facebook. unfortunately, i suffered a power outage between saves and i lost a significant amount of data.

now, everybody knows that data is archived, but you don't offer the ability to download page archives. there must be a way to get the data through request. it would actually save me a significant amount of time if i could just get the whole thing in one chunk, but i'm specifically looking for posts made between january 1 and july 1, 2014.

facebook
Hi,

Thanks for your email. Unfortunately, we don't currently offer support for this type of request through this channel.

You can find answers to many common questions, learn how to report a bug or other issue and get more information about Facebook's products and features directly in the Facebook Help Center:

http://www.facebook.com/help/?ref=cr

jessica
is there a channel i can try?
this isn't really considered a musician's tool, it's more designed for playing back midi files, and by that one would have to deduce the intent is specifically for classical music. it's really meant as a finale or sibelius plugin, to get more realistic sound fonts for music teachers or geeks that just like listening to midi music.

however, i spent most of 2014 converting midi compositions i'd written many years before into finished pieces, and this proved to be a very valuable tool to me in converting programmed notes into usable sounds.

i specifically downloaded it for the drums, because i find the idea of mapping drums to be highly anti-musical. the staff isn't arbitrary. drum notation is a real thing. when i notate a snare, i don't mean a turntable scratch. the lack of attention to this reality by drum machine programmers is really upsetting, and i'm not sure why professional drummers haven't pushed back on it. i should be able to put a midi drum file through any plugin and have it hit the relevant sound fonts. i mean, imagine a plugin that triggered the wrong pitches and a culture that says "well, map the pitches then". it's a combination of ignorance and idiocy.

so, the fact that this is a general midi sound card replacement that understands music notation was very key in choosing it as a drum machine. it has some limitations, as everything general midi does, but they can largely be dealt with through production. and, frankly, i tend to produce my drums not just with reverb but with various types of distortion and some pretty heavy equalization. the key thing, for me, was just getting the notes to map correctly out of the box, and it does that quite while.

it turns out that some of the other sound fonts are quite usable, which i just took as a bonus - but beware that some of them are also quite awful.

http://www.soundonsound.com/sos/may06/articles/nibandstand.htm
to create realistic midi renders for the midi files project, i needed a realistic guitar sampler and, after a little research, decided this was really the only option. technology moves so fast that this may no longer be true, a mere year and a half later.

what i found was that the other options either come with baked in effects or were broadly generative in nature. baked in effects are great if you're basically a piano player and want the guitars to conform to a genre style. so, you see these libraries with guitars categorized with terms like "pop", "blues" or "rock". for a lot of people, that's really enough, and that's fine.

but, i needed it to be as basic as possible, so i could shape my own signal path through guitar rig or whatever else. i wanted the cleanest, most bare samples possible - just the most basic DI sound of picking a completely clean guitar. and, for me, that's actually true, broadly.

it has some issues - it can be a little choppy, and it's maybe a little bit *too* realistic in some ways. alternate tunings would be useful, if they don't want to let you pick notes that would otherwise be impossible to play.

keeping in mind that i'm going to play live guitars for virtually everything out of principle (because i'm a guitarist), this is of such limited value to me that it's not really worth my time to find something that fixes these limitations. but, as a specific tool for the specific project i used it for, i was very surprised by how good it could sound through some effects.

http://www.musiclab.com/products/realguitar/info.html
https://www.musiclab.com/products/reallpc/info.html

Saturday, June 20, 2015

it's been a year since i've updated my youtube posting schedule. the alter reality has already run from fall, 1996 through to fall, 1997 and is now approaching the beginning of 1998, when i started making synthpop. the next year of posts will take me through the first inri demo and begin to open up into more abstract and professional-sounding recordings. but i need to stress that my adult phase will not begin until 2017. the trolls that listen to forty seconds on the front page written when i was a teenager and think they can measure my entire output by it are in for a bit of a surprise. that's fine; i designed my roll-out that way - to stress the evolution in sound, build an audience up from the start and confuse and distract passive listeners. i'll post another one of these next year...

Friday, June 19, 2015

running through some files on my other page, i've determined the precise point where the strange characters appeared. it was the post right after i indicated i was going to london, ontario. the totality of evidence suggests that i'm probably under suspicion for being a terrorist, because i happen to have a concept of morality, and am consequently critical of american foreign policy. indicating that i was leaving the city probably set something off..

listen, cia, we need to talk...

first, i'm from canada. so, take off, eh?

second, i was going to london for a doctor's appointment. you can check my facebook messages over nov, 2014 to verify that. it's all very transparent. and everybody understands that you're incompetent. but, now that i'm pointing it out, go ahead and look and see.

so, if you can get rid of those annoying characters, now, that'd be nice. i don't even care if you continue surveillance - it's the internet. it's facebook. surveillance is the purpose of the internet. privacy on the internet is impossible. i get it. i'm not utopian on he point. so, if i'm ever going to plan a terrorist attack, i'm going to do it without using the internet. it'd just be nice if you did it silently.

alright?
this is taking forever, and i have a lot to do, still.

so, i'm restricting this to actually cleaning the page, like i did for my main page. creating a new page is going to take another month to set up. that means that i will continue to use this as a journal for the foreseeable future, it will just be cleaned up periodically.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

ugh. i'm trying to remember when i bought certain things, and coming up pretty blurry, so i thought access to bank statements would help. now, i actually kept all my statements for years, but they disappeared in storage (they were probably flooded in the shed). so, i went into rbc to ask for statements.

$40/hr. not $40. $40/hr.

i'm not sure what that even means. it's almost like a pricing system from the 70s, back when things were stored physically and people had to go through boxes of data and pull things out and copy them - which may have taken some time. probably not an hour. but some time.

nowadays? it's just a question of access to the database. it should take about three minutes to open the file and press "print". but, no corporation is going to reduce their prices on services - no matter how absurd or out of date it may appear. and, frankly, a lot of people would just pay it.

needless to say, i didn't pay the $40/hr. but, i'm rather convinced that i have the right to access these files, and they can't be charging me for more than paper. as in, putting that kind of price tag on access to my own files is actually illegal. at most, they can charge me for paper.

so, i'm going to have to piss them off until they send it - out of principle.

for now, i'm going to leave approximate spaces in the walk through and fill it in when the statements get here.

i forgot to eat yesterday, though, and need to take care of that first.

Monday, June 15, 2015

well, i got the disc done up to 2000, which is the bulk of the adds. now, i just need to clean the page up a little over the second part of 2013, and the first part of 2014. i wanted to do this anyways - it's actually why i jumped backwards. but, it's going to be another day or two.

i have an appointment tomorrow. it's late enough in the day that i don't have to worry about getting up early, but it's going to cut off most of the day.

right now, i need to eat.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

re-publishing ambient works vol 0 (inri035)

i've split this off from inri048 into it's own release, inri017. this required shifting the previous inri017 down to inri016, and so forth, to inri001 - which is now inri000.

==

when i sat down to make the ambient works, i wanted a "mix tape" style cd-r of ambient fragments that ran from 1996-2003 as a volume 0. but, when i sat down to actually make it, i ended up with a 90 minute actual mix tape of material from 1996-1999. it actually split itself fairly cleanly into an inri period release, but a number of factors made it a pain in the ass to actually place it there.

i've decided to flip-flop on this, mostly due to the desire to keep the period 1 disc self-contained. i couldn't release something like that without this on it.

what i'm going to have to do is rename the first 17 releases by taking them down a number - so, inri001 becomes inri000, all the way up to inri017, which will allow me to insert the ambient works into that space.

that's going to require a lot of typing this evening which will slow me down another day, but i think it's the right choice.

so, here is the new inri017.

initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed between 2013-2015. initially released as part zero of a three volume set on may 21, 2015. split into it's own release on june 14, 2015. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitar, effects, bass, pick scrapes, tapes, metronome, synth, electric piano, drum & other programming, sound design, cool edit synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, loops, sampling, sequencing, sound raider, digital wave editing, production, composition

released december 31, 1999

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ambient-works-vol-0

pj’s was not the best venue for white lung, as the sound was reliant on an in-house tech that didn’t get it

i've been to lots of bars with disengaged sound techs, and they end up flagging themselves. it's less as a place to avoid, and more as a disappointment that the band you like is playing x rather than y. you deal with it.

pj's is a different animal, as it seems to have an *over*-engaged sound tech. i have less experience with this phenomenon, but it seems like it's a greater concern. a disengaged sound tech lets the band make it's own mistakes, which at least gives them control of their own presentation. but, an over-engaged sound tech can turn the band you've gone to see into something else entirely.

white lung is a band that thrives heavily on the guitarist's upper range. he's not a lead player, he's just a very talented punk guitarist. this plays off heavily with the dramatic and generally harsh vocal delivery, which is more in the mid range, and the busy but metronome-style drumming. generally, you get a fairly clean split - bass on the bottom, guitars up top and vocals in the middle.

so, to hear the sound tech drown the guitars in bass and bury the vocals altogether is to have him make sound decisions that really aren't in his realm to make. he seemed to interpret them as some kind of doom/metalcore act, rather than as the very melodic hardcore punk band that they are. what makes them special is that detail in the upper range. so, it kind of sucked to hear it almost entirely drowned out by flooring the bass - as one would mix a modern metal band.

the singer was visibly and vocally perturbed that people weren't getting into it. but, we couldn't really hear it. all we could hear was that muffled bass. i mean, imagine people showing up at a dance cub and getting a triangle beat instead of a big bass, or people showing up at a folk festival and getting metal riffs. you'd expect it to foster a disconnect.

i knew the songs well enough to fill them in mentally, but the content just wasn't cutting through the mix. and, i've seen enough youtube clips to know that this isn't a general problem on their end.

as for the band itself, i think they've hit the point in their career where they need to make some bold moves. they had a good groove going on with sorry, but it's started to turn into a formula. you can only write the same basic song so many times before it starts to seem unnecessary - i'd argue that sorry is a developing classic, but what that means is that there's not any really good reason to listen to another record (or three) in the same style. that's going to piss some people off, but the other option is people slowly tuning out.

i'm left to conclude that i need to be careful with this venue. but, i don't want to dissuade people from checking out the band. at the very least, the aforementioned record is very notable and something very much worth looking into.


ironically, obliterations were better live than i had expected from sound samples - largely because the mix was better, with the vocals turned down and the guitars given some more chunk. see, the tech made the right choice with these guys.

i mean, the mixing decisions didn't relieve it of it's boneheadedness. but, they softened it to the point that it made me think more of a modern take on soundgarden or pearl jam than yet another converge-influenced bro-rock band - which is what i was expecting.


http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2015/06/13.html

Saturday, June 13, 2015

so time consuming...

i'm done most of the way through '99, but i'm going to stop for the night. it should be done tomorrow, unless i get stuck in detroit overnight.

to be clear as to what i'm doing: inriℵ0 is being revamped into a combination flac/mp3 disc that houses every single thing i did in the 90s: mastered/unmastered versions, outtakes, remixes - everything. the official releases are in flac, while the rest is in varying quality mp3s. some of this stuff i only have in like 56 kbps mono; it would be pointless to convert it. there's several versions of most tracks. what i'm doing is building an html front end on top of it, so that the files can be navigated. it's a chronological browser, with hyperlinks flowing all over the place. and i code by hand, so...

this is going to be the complete end of this period, which i'm doing now because i'm also closing period 2. it's everything there is from the 90s, on one disc. and then that's it.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/period-1-2

Friday, June 12, 2015


deathtokoalas
+larry 
yngwie can't play the guitar like al. he sounds like a classical violinist. it's the textbook comparison of technical and robotic playing v. soulful and passionate playing. it's what puts al in his own category - he's that unicorn of a guitarist that has both aspects absolutely nailed.

larry
+deathtokoalas
They are not the same person...of course they can't play like each other. I was pointing out they are both technical guitar players. I'm surprised you would call any artist being soulless or without passion...you being an artist as well. Sounds ignorant to me.

deathtokoalas
+larry
i'm not sure i'd classify yngwe malmsteen as an artist. he's more of a performer. i believe that a large percentage of his recorded output is music that is written by others. further, it's not exactly an unheard of criticism of his work.

johnProph
+deathtokoalas
all rational discussion ends when someone says Yngwie doesnt play with soul or emotion, lol. Dude has tons of feel.

deathtokoalas
+johnProph well, y'know, people have been saying this for thirty years. it's not going to go away.

deathtokoalas
to get back to the point of the post, there's only two people worthy of being in the same sentence as al di meola. you guys got one - john mclaughlin. although mclaughlin is really a very good blues player; he's not in the same category in terms of compositional abilities. the other is allan holdsworth.

larry
+ deathtokoalas Thank you for your opinions bro.Worthy of being in the same sentence? You sound like such a snob.  Do all artists think their opinions are above everyone elses?

deathtokoalas
+larry see, what i'm often fighting back against is this idea that evidence-based arguments are merely opinions. i reject your premise.

when you listen to di meola, you might just hear a lot of really fast guitar playing. really, that's about the only way you can bring somebody like malmsteen into it.

it's often been stated that you can't really appreciate jazz unless you understand it. i'll push back against that; you feel the best jazz, and if you need to resort to an intellectual argument about 13th chords then its just evidence that the music is lacking.

but, with something like di meola, you get a greater appreciation out of it by having some idea of what he's actually doing. it's extremely musically literate. this is a guy that was recognized as a virtuoso at a young age, and did a lot of academic training. and it really comes out in highly creative ways.

there's really only one other guitarist in the history of guitars that has had a comparable skill set. that's not an opinion. that's a fact.

historians will look back at this period and universally agree that di meola was the master guitarist - as they agree that chopin was the master pianist, or paganini was the master violinist. he's really that far ahead of his contemporaries. he's historically relevant in the same way.

holdsworth is the minor figure. the alternative, if you will. the ravel to his debussy.

mclaughlin is the intuitive hack, who didn't know what he was doing but faked it very well.

and just about everybody else (except zappa, who is hard to categorize) is likely to be mostly forgotten.

larry
+deathtokoalas The only one pulling out "evidence based facts" along with your opinion is you. I said they were similar in ways that if you enjoy one you could possibly appreciate another. That's it. I'm not rating them on a scale...not saying they are the same person...it's not a competition dude. I try to accept and appreciate all art...even your "music". It's people like you that have to suck the beauty and fun out of everything that people may find happiness in.

deathtokoalas
+larry it's just a disrespectful comparison. and, the truth is that a lot of the respected guitarists that followed in the 80s and 90s (as well as more than a few from the 70s) will uphold that. di meola is the undisputed master. no informed person has the panache to draw comparisons. one does not simply compare another to di meola - especially not themselves. i can't even list him as an influence; to some way compare myself to him just seems wrong.

larry
+ deathtokoalas Ha ha! Disrespectful? To who...you? Well that's your opinion not a fact. I'm sure neither artist gives two shits about anything you or I say. Once again, you should write a book. I'm sure people would be dying to read it...best seller maybe? You are a critic...not an artist.

deathtokoalas
+larry i do plan to focus more on some academic writing once i get through finishing my uncompleted works. i've been able to get through 1996-2003 over the last year. it hopefully shouldn't take more than a year, unless i get thrown off disability.

again: if you were to ask around amongst 80s and 90s guitarists (and pretty much across the spectrum, from vai to petrucci to keneally to corgan), they'll all tell you di meola is untouchable, go into an "i'm not worthy" wayne & garth impersonation and distance themselves from direct comparisons.

yngwe is famous for his ego. he might be the one person that has the gall to do it. but, it's a function of his arrogance. and, nobody is going to agree with him.

larry
+deathtokoalas I don't know either artist personally. They are people just like us...not some gods that names should not be spoken. I could see how other peoples gossip might lead you to not like someones music. People could easily say that you as an artist, had a shit attitude and a massive ego. Would they be right?

deathtokoalas
+larry no. i'm flamboyant, but i'm not arrogant. it's not my ego that you find upsetting, it's my tendency to voice uncomfortable truths.

larry
+deathtokoalas You don't upset me. I like a discussion... especially with bigots. Your truths are your opinions, just like me. You sound arrogant with some of the things you say, which I'm sure it's not accurate to you as a person. You are obviously intelligent, but you seem closed minded when it comes to art. I find it hard to understand why an artist would be so critical of another artist, when they know how personal it can be. I wasn't telling anyone what to do or how to think with my original post. I was being positive, not creating a negative.

deathtokoalas
+larry do you see the problem with accepting the premise that truth and opinion are the same thing?

just because i'm critical of something doesn't mean i'm closed-minded. in truth, you'll find few people with tastes as wide as mine. sometimes things are really just garbage, and it often actually takes an open-mind and independent thought to reject conforming pressures and declare them as such.

for example, i'm unequivocal on the point - the velvet underground were pretentious nonsense. i upset people when i say that, because the dominant perspective is that they were visionaries. i'll give cale a little more credit than the rest of them, but i think this is nonsense - they were as terrible as the initial reviews claimed they were. and, in today's world, you actually need to be thinking openly to get to that point, because mass media presents a monolithic viewpoint on the topic. yet, people tell me i'm closed-minded for thinking independently. ironically, it's rather ironic.

it was really just a bad comparison. and you're really just egging me on.

larry
+deathtokoalas Why do you care if people think a band are visionaries? Honestly...such a waste of time bitching about things you don't like. I don't care what you like or don't musically and no one else does either. People like to think they are special for listening to obscure or different music. LAME. Your taste or knowledge in music does not make you better than anyone else.

deathtokoalas
+larry again, you seem to think it's an ego issue. in fact, it is impossible to not waste your time, because life has no meaning or purpose. it's a just a choice to waste it that way, rather than to waste it doing something else.

vince
+larry Oh, please... Yngwie is pretty good at what he does but, really, he is a bit of a one trick pony. This album has things like nuance, dynamics and groove, stuff that Yngwie... doesn't really bother with.

larry
+deathtokoalas What is your point? You shouldn't listen to both artists?

johnny foosball
+deathtokoalas I[ll agree on McLaughlin but Holdsworth to me is similar to Yngwie been milking the same old stuff for 30+ years , I was impressed with Holdsworth on a album he did with Luc Ponty years ago , but then heard some recent stuff same ol same ol, just like Yngwie with his never ending neo classical gets boring rather quickly

deathtokoalas
+johnny foosball well, it's true that holdsworth has a defined style. but, what he does on the guitar from a tactical perspective is just without serious parallel. malmsteen doesn't bug me because it all sounds the same, it's more that he's just regurgitating classical music without any emotional investment into it. holdsworth really isn't emulating anything or anyone, and that fact alone is going to necessitate a space for him in the history books in the long run.

Pharaoh Sneferu
+deathtokoalas technical does not = robotic.. a common misconception

Pharaoh Sneferu
+johnny foosball dont tell mozart or beethoven .. classical stuff is boring?? heard it all now. Typical reaction... Just because your ears cant hear the variation and phrasing doesnt mean its not there.. its a failing of your ears.. not yngwie's playing. you need to concentrate harder.. like listening to a concerto, its not always easy listening.

Pharaoh Sneferu
+vince one trick pony....?? like Bach you mean???

Pharaoh Sneferu
+johnProph zactly.. but to the untrained ear or tone deaf its just a lot of fast notes.. people only talk about the fast stuff he does. ignorance

Pharaoh Sneferu
+larry RF fantastic album.. power, grace , feel and composition..

The "oh, its just fast" crowd need to listen harder, just because it too hard for them to grasp, doesn't mean its not any good. Mozart died penniless because of people like that.

deathtokoalas
+Pharaoh Sneferu see, i think the fact that you said "mozart or beethoven" as though they're interchangeable, in context, lets a lot on about where you're coming from because mozart is a great example of incredibly boring technicality, whereas beethoven is very emotionally powerful. it's kind of the classic study in opposites. it's maybe a pretty good analogy, in comparing di meola and malmsteen.

deathtokoalas
+Pharoah Sneferu it may be true that technical does not always equal robotic. but, insofar as it applies to mozart or malmsteen, it certainly broadly does.

Pharaoh Sneferu
+deathtokoalas Well I would disagree with you on Mozart. There is a beauty in the elegance of his solution to the technical challenges of sonata form for instance. on the face of it , yes he " Just modulates" but its the choices he makes whilst doing so that define his genius. To a lesser degree the same is true of Yngwie, he chooses SOME fast runs to move the focus from individual notes to groups that define his harmonic structure ( bit like chords but using individual notes instead.) over a single pedal tone. If you become fixated on the speed, technical challenge of the execution of this approach etc.. you are missing the point. However I am speaking of his early work, The later albums after 1990ish are a just a speed fest I will admit. :-)

deathtokoalas
+Pharaoh Sneferu i'm sorry. what point am i missing?

larry
+deathtokoalas You always seem to be missing the point dude. Lol

deathtokoalas
+larry yeah, it's really remarkable how inept i am, isn't it? i don't tend to get a lot of clarification as to what i'm missing, though.

larry
+deathtokoalas His opinion sounded clear to me. We know you don't agree. Not everything has to be complicated.

deathtokoalas
+larry i don't see what's complicated about requesting elaboration on the point i'm supposedly missing.

and, i might dare suggest that if it is so difficult to articulate this supposed point then it may be the case that it does not actually exist at all.

Pharaoh Sneferu
+deathtokoalas Point One. "There is a beauty in the elegance of his solution to the technical challenges of sonata form"
Point 2. " he chooses SOME fast runs to move the focus from individual notes to groups that define his harmonic structure"

To clarify this point,  by fixating on the technical aspects of the execution you have missed the overall harmonic development. btw because you cant hear it does not mean it isn't there.

deathtokoalas
+Pharaoh Sneferu just because i can't hear it doesn't mean it isn't there. that's interesting,

i wasn't really arguing against the existence of "harmonic structure", i was pointing out that he sounds lifeless and robotic as he's running through. it's the human element.

the high point of passionate piano playing in the romantic era was not beethoven, but rachmaninov. rachmaninov is just pure grit. total emotional release. it's musically very lush, but the key in a good rachmaninov performance is getting a good russian pianist to play it, because only the russians seem to understand the angst. western performances of rachmaninov tend to strip all the intensity out of it, and reduce it to this dead, bourgeois nonsense. if you were to listen to a rachmaninov piece performed by an 8-bit sequencer, you'd be missing out on the dominant aspect of the music. it's all the same notes. all the same "harmonic structure". but, very different in outcome.

malmsteen's work would be dramatically improved if it were to be played by somebody else - like al, for example.

i don't really think you've made any contextually relevant points. rather, i think you have, yourself, misunderstood the discussion.
damned hiccups.

i am not an amphibian.

or am i?

listen, if there's really shape-shifting lizards out there controlling the world, you'd think they'd have hybridized with regular ape-derived humans, and have half-lizard/half-ape hybrids running around that don't realize it. i don't care if you're a reptilian overlord, you still have a sex drive, and "no sex with ape-humans" has gotta be a helluva taboo in their hidden culture, enough to ensure it does happen.

maybe i'll go to the doctor and ask for a dna test..

"listen. i just need you to check if i'm a reptilian hybrid. it's a perfectly reasonable request. how do we know if we don't test?"
so, i'm remembering that i picked the creamy dreamer up when it was wet and hot out, because there were puddles and mud outside songbird. the nature of distant memories is strange and scattered - i tend to remember the weather, for some reason, when i recall certain experiences. and i actually remember looking at the date - aug 11, 1999 - and concluding it was a year old. so, that means it was summer, 2000. that makes everything consistent, as the first clear evidence i have of it's use is summer, 2000 - and i have clear evidence of it being missing from my chain in the spring of 2000.

i'm going to consequently attribute the boost in gain on my distortion that happened in late 99 to a switch in pickups, from the 80s ibanez to the two epiphones rather than a switch in pedals. that also makes sense; one would expect a switch in tone from switching guitars. which explains why i closeted the ibanez...

that clears the cash situation up. i was working as a janitor at wendy's over the summer of '99, often for the late night shift. i remember this clearly in conjunction with book it!, which was the fall of '99. i also remember quitting that job a little before exams, because they wouldn't accommodate for it. so, that gives me the cash to buy the xp-100 a few weeks before christmas, which is now the only thing i picked up in that space. the remaining pedals are really just a moogerfooger and the creamy dreamer, which i can date to the summer or late spring of 2000. well, there's some other garage sale pickups, but these were cheap items. that would mean the bribe must have applied to the summer of 2000, which makes the most sense. i'm still not completely sure where that cash came from. it makes sense that it might have been a tax return, given the dates, but i have no memory of this.

that means i can close period 1 without any further gear additions, and that these are the necessary gear additions to add for the first phase of period 2:

entropy: (dec, 1999)
- whammy
- acid
- sounder

commercial break (jan, 2000):
- soundblaster
- drum kit

gravity's rainbow (mar, 2000):
- no electric guitars
- granulab
- rubber ducky
- audiomulch

curious george suite (may, 2000):
- all digital effects played straight in
- megatrancer & spin cycle
- leaf drums

ignorance (july, 2000):
- whammy
- mxr flanger (eq/distortion II)
- other sequences suggest no creamy dreamer...

acidosis (aug, 2000):
- *moogerfooger
- *ebow
- peavey amp
- *creamy dreamer
- organ
- koan
- aria classical
- piano
- mandolin / marshall
- fender amp

that peavey is older, i'm quite sure. i think it was my sister's amp at some point. but i've generally recorded direct.
no. i remember now that i had a little cardboard box of receipts and it's one of the things that disappeared when i left things in storage, probably because it was left in a flooded shed. i had receipts for *everything* in that box, going back to 1995. there's an off chance it's buried in a stack of books, but i'm doubting that. i should build those bookcases some time soon, too.

i did find the sustain punch box, though, with the serial number and build date: aug 11, 1999. i picked it up in a store, so it's of minimal help. but, i'm leaning towards the summer.

i should listen to those last few 99 tracks and see what i can pull out. i think most of it is very zoom sounding, but there's that little boost that came in, as i mentioned. i think the only song with greg's fab tone was liquify, and i think it was only on one of what is about 20 guitar tracks.

the first thing i can really identify is the digitech whammy xp-100 that comes in on the first track for period 2, "entropy". the creamy dreamer doesn't make an explicit appearance in my notes for another six months - may, 2000. but this is too late.

so, i need to make that choice.

it's just a little disorienting because my memory is normally excellent.
i'm straining my memory, here. hard. and it's coming out incoherently.

all the evidence seems to suggest i picked a slew of pedals up in early '00. but that doesn't make any sense, because i got bribed into going to university by being told i could quit my job. so, how did i buy these effects, if i had no income?

but, if i bought them earlier - the fall of '99 - then why wasn't i using them? or was i using some of them? it's the creamy dreamer that i'm not sure of.

i remember borrowing my friend's fab tone and using it as a boost, and i think that's why i got the creamy dreamer. but it's just very unclear.

worse, i remember going down to songbird and buying them, and in some cases i even remember it being cold out. this does suggest the winter of '99/'00.

but it's just not making sense.

strange truth: i may actually have receipts in the boxes. yeah, it's weird, but it's true. i'll check that out...

i was thinking abut hitting insect ark tonight, but i'm kind of waiting to see if the rain is going to clear up, and even then i'm not convinced it's going to be an exciting show. i tend to prefer punkier types of live shows, due to the higher energy. there's plenty of exceptions, i'm just....still thinking about it.

white lung tomorrow is a for sure.

but this disc is taking longer than i expected, and i'd like to get it moving, too. it's at least all structured, i just need to get the data in.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

www.vintagesynth.com/roland/jx8p.php

Jim
I recently acquired a Roland JX-8P. Everything works great except I get stuck notes when I hit several keys, primarily the black ones. The notes just sustain and when I attempt to hit them again they don't don't sound obviously because they are sustaining. When I attach a keyboard controller, I can play without any issue at all. The JX-8P is perfect!! Thus no problems when using a controller keyboard. Key bed has been cleaned. Aftertouch works great! I just get get rid of the sustained notes. I've this is a big problem with the JX-8P and there doesn't appear to be a fix. Any ideas?

deathtokoalas
i picked mine up in early 98 and began to notice a similar problem by mid 2000. i was young and confident at the time, so i figured i could clean it myself. i ended up bending the metal contact. i still have the synth, but i've been using a dx100 to control it ever since.

it's actually rust on the contact - a known issue. in the late 90s, it was something that was easily fixed, if you weren't a cocky teenager. nowadays? well, the rust has probably been there quite a while.

a shop will realize it's a known issue and tell you if you can fix it, or if you need a controller.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

sorry for the flood. it's definitely not done, but that's it for probably a few days, anyways.

sorry again, i'm just rearranging the aleph-concept - for the last time. there's going to be a single period 1 disc. it doesn't make sense to split it in half.

i'm really done for a few days, now.

Monday, June 8, 2015

this split shift de-nicing thing again. ugh. goes away in a few days...and i need to make sure this is the last time it happens...

i think that's all the gear from 96-97 that i can think of,or at least all i can remember. like, there was a bass. it was green. there was a kit. it was actually pretty nice; maple, iirc. he kept buying kits for himself, leaving them in my room as an excuse and then never having time to play them, between work and constant real estate speculation and dealing with lawyers and everything else. again: i learned something from that.

there was an acoustic guitar left in there by the same person that left the mxr and the recorder (his name was larry, and he was a bit of a douche. the only person i've ever met that seriously liked bands like kansas. he didn't like me because i was a punk...) in there. my sister had a non-programmable kawaii upstairs, which was meant to be a realistic (weight-wise) sample-based electric piano and had a dozen presets of things like organs and harpsichords, but i only used it on like four tracks and it wasn't mine. i didn't have any computers or electronic toys until after i moved...

i guess the challenge running through 98 and 99 is going to be remembering old 16-bit software.

so, yeah: the last few days kind of sucked in terms of productivity; i had some difficulties staying awake. the next few should be a lot better. i think i can get through 98 today and 99 tomorrow, closing aleph-0 permanently.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

yamaha ry-30




i had one of these in the late 90s and it is indeed quite powerful - it's a synthesizer as much as a drum machine, meaning it can double as a sequencer or noise generator. i used to program harpsichord solos into it. it can quantize up to 128 beats per bar and can work in just about any time signature you can think of, which separates it from a lot of other drum machines right off the bat. i used to program entire songs without loops by slowing the tempo down. i was unpleasantly shocked to find out other machines couldn't do this...

that said, the flexibility is memory intensive, and there's not a lot on board, so you want to get a card with it (or make sure you can dump programs via sysex).

somebody that used this machine to great effect around 97 or so was autechre. if you want a really thorough demo, that's a good place to start.

www.vintagesynth.com/yamaha/ry30.php

Friday, June 5, 2015

a quick late night jolt in and out of detroit to see speedy ortiz

i'm not so vain...

speedy ortiz was a good show, even if i got a little lost in my head for parts of it. there were some parts that made me laugh, like how the bros in the audience seemed to like the idea of a song about being the boss, completely missing the feminist undertones; overtones, actually. there were some parts that made me cringe, and there were some parts that were just enjoyable to cave into.

i walked in a little uncomfortable with some of the messaging, and walked out convinced that i've been maybe living in a safe spaces bubble as of late. i think i can get how the frustration of playing for an audience that doesn't really understand what you're saying can get irritating, and might lead to some misguided reactions. as they say, every force has a counterforce. i think my analysis is accurate and needed to be stated, but i'm a little more sympathetic than i let on, after actually observing the reality.

that said, sadie also demonstrated a little bit of tyranny, stopping to yell at her visibly perplexed drummer for "trying to tell me a secret that i don't understand". seems to me like a purge is coming...

various shades of truth, from different perspectives; often, there's value in several of them.

this is a band that's been highly touted by the press for quite a while and is the rare act to get this kind of hype that actually deserves it. they're working in a kind of frankenspace between math rock and pop rock that i think has only scratched the surface of what it could be, and could end up being pretty important, in the long run. it needs expansion in both directions to get to a space that few people have really delved into since sonic youth got dropped from geffen. but it really has massive potential.

in the short run, they're a tight band and i do recommend getting out to see them if you get the chance. it's just maybe not the best idea to assume that the riffs bring certain very out of date attitudes with them; maybe, instead, you should listen to what the songwriter is actually saying.


 i wasn't very impressed with either of the opening acts (palehound, alex g).

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2015/06/04.html

Thursday, June 4, 2015

that took longer than i meant it to, but i have the template for inri001 down, meaning the next few should be relatively quick. i need to get groceries and pills some time today; otherwise, this should be a good week-long no smoking project.

i'm still debating the speedy ortiz show tonight. musically, the new record is really quite solid. i'm just sifting over my mind whether or not i'm badly misinterpreting some of the lyrics. i'm borderline old, now, and i need to remember that young people (and university aged people are now "young", in my perspective) are sometimes less precise than they intend to be, and/or overlook things. as a borderline old person, it's my responsibility to be patient rather than contemptuous.

there's a born gold / braids show on sunday, as well. the headliner is purity ring, but they are too poppy for me tastes. i've seen braids a few times, and missed born gold twice in 2011 - once when i was late for a braids show (which was very much not intentional) and once when i skipped grimes at a small bar in ottawa, thinking it was just a bit too poppy and her career probably wasn't going anywhere. if i go to speedy ortiz, i will probably not attend that show.

there's two more shows on the 12th and 13th that i willalmost certainly attend.

right now, i'm actually almost thinking i just need an excuse to make myself look nice and get out of the house for the night, before i settle in for the week. i haven't been anywhere since late april, and i *did* get a relatively large amount done in may. it's maybe time to get out of the house a little.

meaning, i should probably try and get a few hours of sleep in now and decide when i wake up.