Thursday, September 14, 2017

it's funny how i can turn myself off and on like that.

i told myself i'd need to sleep before i could address inri031. and, i did - for 11 hours.

that's the other side of it, the crash. but, i've been all crash, lately.

these discs are going to be closed soon, and that's a step forwards. but, it doesn't change the fundamental need to organize all of this writing - and all of these videos. in the end, it just means that i'll have that much more organizing to do.

but, i've at least broken the recursion. and, combined with all of the uncertainty around my living arrangements, it may make sense to focus solely on the discography for the next several months.

i am currently waiting for the court date around what i believe to be a frivolous eviction order. the reality is that i will not have much of any options at all, should it go through. i'm going to end up living in a one-room apartment for a while, or perhaps putting my belongings in storage and living on the street. it could be years before i'm able to rebuild the space.

if i end up homeless, i may choose to stay that way; i may sell my belongings out of storage and end up living on coffee and books in the local library.

the order should be here by now. their legal counsel seemed to deny it ever happened. and, i have strong reason to believe that they're selling the building, in which case i should lay low and wait it out.

everything will change should the notice end up in my box. and, i will need to call on monday to figure out if the office received it.

but, it wouldn't make sense to build custom shelves for the apartment - for example - only to get evicted. nor would it make sense to spend the rest of the money my grandmother gave me, because i may need it for last month's rent and moving costs.

i can't afford to move around all of the time. but, there isn't a long term solution on the market for me, right now. i'd have to find a bachelor apartment - or storage - and just cram everything in and sit and wait until something better comes up.

first of all, i don't think they put the court order through. second of all, i think i'd win the case - which would re-open the previous harassment case. in the end, i'm still here and they owe me a lot of money. third, i really do think that the building is being sold, which was the gamble that everything i've been doing always rooted itself in - all i had to do was wait them out.

for right now, my immediate focus needs to be on finalizing what i was able to complete over the last four years. and, i will no doubt look back on this large order as a kind of necessary and welcome refocus.