Sunday, May 31, 2015

prematurely finalizing existence (inri050)

inri031 has been finalized without being updated.

something i noticed a few weeks ago (well, i noticed it before then...) was that some of the vstis i'm using are a little crackly. it's more like that i noticed that i missed a few crackles. so, one of the things i'm doing in relistening to the material made since i moved here and started using vstis is to listen very carefully for these little bumps in the final mixes, which can be removed either via digital wave editing or via the crackle remover in cool edit (and i've used both methods). if you open the files up in a wave editor, they're often sharp spikes that can be smoothed by just zooming in and taking the sample down in amplitude. i think it's related to the instrument switching samples, but i'm not totally clear on what's causing these "relics". they almost sound like downsampling errors. whatever they are, i'm going through and carefully ensuring i didn't miss any in bad places.

the mixes on this single have a few crackles. you have to listen carefully for them, but they're there. i actually feel that it adds to the overall sound, here, which is a little bit degraded by design. the choir mix kind of sounds like a handheld hiding in a secret masonic chant, or something, while the string mix sounds almost like an old vinyl.

i was also considering changing the reverb on the string mix to conform to the other string mixes, but the reverb i used in the first place fits the track better - the other reverb is too bright.

i'd also be in a weird spot with this, because the final is a combination of the choir, string and arranged mixes. that means i'd have to change everything, and i'm already happy with the final mix.

so, it's not changing....

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/existence
i'm actually feeling very anxious and distracted right now and not sure why. head is racing. it's probably a culmination of things. the walk in the morning will probably be good for me.

i've been aware for a while that i'm letting something go in finally finishing period 2. these are songs/tracks/whatever that i've been turning over in my head since 2001-2003 - almost fifteen years. if you'd asked me a few years ago, i might have suggested that i'd never actually finish this. on one hand, it feels good to get past it, but on another there's a sort of sense of loss, as it's coming up against a shift in identity. within a few months, i won't be able to say i have all this work i need to get done - because it will be done. it will finally provide me with some closure about a few things. but, it's going to force me to look at the life i have left entirely differently. existential dread, i guess. but, i mean, it's not like i put myself in this situation on purpose, either, it just happened. time moves forward whether anybody likes it or not. i'll adjust, but i'm losing something here and am going to have to go through a process of flux to get to the other side of it and be able to look back on it wih a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment, and be able to really look forward to do something new.

my completed discography is nearing two full days and will pass that hump by the end of the month. that's a lot to permanently let go of, to move out of the "finish one day" and into the "finished" pile. mentally.

there's people involved. bad relationships. relationships gone bad. relationships that evaporated. i think we all think about the past from time to time, but an artist is inherently tied to it, by the nature of the creative process - and the results of it. leaving ideas open leaves wounds open. closing them closes wounds. closure. literally. it's positive, overall - i'm not arguing otherwise. it's just daunting.

and, i think the next batch of material is particularly daunting in that respect. a little drama to foreshadow it. expect a lot in the music. it's necessary...
inri031 is going to require some careful thought, specifically with the string orchestra version. if i update it, it will probably be to replace it.

the weather here was really nice all week, but went to shit last night. the drop in temperature gives me an opportunity to get some compost out tomorrow morning. but i've otherwise committed to zero packs of cigarettes over june - and am absolutely serious about enforcing it. i was almost cold turkey in february, but the weather helped. june is going to be a bit tougher, but i'm not cracking. this should hopefully overlap with the web site push, once i get through this clean-up and push through to completed material up to mid 2004, putting aside incomplete material over late 2003 and 2004 for a few weeks.

i have a final appointment on the 16th and will be mailing my odsp on the 16th or 17th, for analysis some time around the beginning of july. i will either be granted a few more years or have three months to get a reaction. i've already decided to appeal, which will probably give me a few more months. but if i have to do that, i will have to drop the website idea and get back to production, because i will be in a race against time at that point. i've already decided that i don't have a future post-odsp. i haven't decided on an exact path, which will probably depend on the nature of the denial, if it happens.

i'm thinking about hitting three shows this month for sure and a few more are maybes, but a lot of it is going to depend on how focused i am on what i'm doing. i could very well not want to go to any at all, depending on factors like the weather, my disposition and whether i think i can get through it without buying smokes. i've previously prioritized the show and said "i'll quit the next day". i'm reversing that priority. if i'm convinced i'm going to crack, i'm going to stay in.

so, this is an important few months for me coming up. by the end of june, i should get through a lot of loose ends and have an entire period of my music career behind me, and i should have a better understanding of how likely it is that i'm going to be able to plan around disability.

finalizing to me, myself and the time i thought this was a good idea (inri049)

inri030 has been permanently finalized without being updated.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/me-myself-and-the-time-i-thought-this-was-a-good-idea

thoughts on the new son lux single

this isn't the first son lux track where it's like "check the latency, dude". i've been wondering for a while if that's how he's actually getting that glitch effect. i'll wait for the record, i suspect the most compelling material will be buried in there...

finalizing to spin inside dull aberrations (inri048)

inri029 has been permanently finalized without being updated.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/to-spin-inside-dull-aberrations