Wednesday, August 31, 2016

30/31-08-2016: listening phase completed (mp3--laptop-speakers) and looking ahead for sept shows

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

there's actually no reason that you couldn't have a 20th note, you just couldn't express it in terms of quarter notes because you get an infinite series. it's convergent. but it doesn't help the notation.

you couldn't count it, but you could feel it.

i flipped my fraction over and thought i had an answer (i do this, flip the fraction over, to myself all the time), because i'm actually used to dealing with these kinds of weird conversions as a relic of writing drum sequences in a scorewriter. there's lots of ways to convert weird signatures. the series just has to terminate. it doesn't here, but that's just bad luck.

if you split the bar into five equal temporal spaces, each one will be four fifths of a quarter note. .8/4 = 0.2. so, a 20th note would be 20% of a quarter note - which is 40% of an eighth note and 80% of a sixteenth note. indeed, .8*(1/16) = 1/20. you can't notate this using western music theory (because the series happens not to terminate....), but that doesn't mean it's undefined or unplayable

80%(1/16th) =
160% (1/32nd) =
1/32nd + 60%(32nd) =
1/32nd + 1.2(64th) =
1/32nd + 1/64th + .2(64th) =
1/32nd + 1/64th + .4(128th) =
1/32nd + 1/64th + .8(256th) =
1/32nd + 1/64th + epsilon =
3/64th + epsilon

you simply couldn't hear 80% of a 256th note. that's indistiguishable from human error.

so, a 20th note would be indistinguishable from a triplet of 64th notes. that means that 4/20 would be four triplets of 64th notes.

....which is a blast beat.

http://thehardtimes.net/2016/08/29/stoner-tech-metal-band-trying-really-hard-write-song-420-time/?fb_comment_id=1161463340592034_1163796750358693
if you want to watch or take part in pornography, go ahead. what do i care? and, you don't need my permission, either. just don't insult my intelligence by referring to your pornography as 'art'.

if you want to go to a strip club, go ahead. just don't pretend that you're going to a 'concert'.

...and if you want to let your kids watch strippers on tv, that's your choice. well, at least it is in the sense that you own the tv. your kids aren't your property. just, stop fooling yourself into thinking it's a 'music video'. it's not. they're strippers. and it's porn.

Monday, August 29, 2016

29-08-2016: some listening done between rants & raves (mp3--laptop--speakers)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i'm just getting through the listening phase through my laptop without phones, and i have to publicly plead yet again: don't do it. this isn't a cheap laptop. and i'll acknowledge, even, that the highs sound pretty good. but you just simply get no bass out of laptop speakers, and you need bass.

when it comes to audio, your laptop is a fucking potato. stop.

and don't even think about using your phone...

Sunday, August 28, 2016

i've never stated, in public or private, anything other than that my only regret was that i put my transition on hold way back when. i don't regret anything else that happened. and, i wouldn't do anything else differently. but i do very, very much wish that i would have dealt with this properly back in 2002.

the intent was to stop for a few months. that turned into a few years. and, it became financially difficult to pick up where i was.

it was a huge mistake....

....but i mean the choice to suspend was a mistake. x > y. sure. but, it's only that part that i'd reverse, if i could. then, we'd have to see what would happen from there....

yes: a lot of the things that happened would not have happened had i not paused. that is true. but, given that i did pause, i don't regret what i did. what i regret is only that i paused.

i simply can't know what the alternate path would have been, or how similar it would be to what actually happened. so, i can't say anything else. i can only look at the choices i actually made. and, there's really only one i'd reverse.

i'm sorry if that's not what you think, but i need to reiterate: i've never stated anything else. anything else is just in your head.
again: quality v quantity misunderstands what i'm doing. the question is whether i'm being thorough in documentation, or haphazard about it. this is not a film production, it's a vlog. how detailed am i being?

another way to put it is that i don't really have control over the viewing quality of my life, nor am i particularly concerned by it. what i have control over is how meticulous i am in building a historical document.

i went from not being able to sleep to crashing really, really hard. we had some rain move in. it does that to me. i haven't been able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time the last few days. i feel awake, but we'll see.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

j reacts to a dream about genetic factors in gender identity

i've been over this a few times: i really don't think that gender is genetic in the sense that there's a gene for liking skirts or a gene for liking cars. rather, i think it's partly hormonal and partly experiential. the only serious genetic determinant going into somebody's gender identity is consequently the way that their bodies regulate hormones.

that means that there actually might be an observable physical trait that i demonstrate that has something to do with things, which is the fact that i've never grown a single hair on my chest in my life. this is actually very rare. the categorization of "apilose" means "less than 6%".

...and i'm not exaggerating. nary a hair. ever. in my entire life.

(i'll remind you that i'm nearly 36. it's never going to happen.)

how does that happen? well, here's the truth: this is androgenic hair. that is, it's presence is triggered by the release of testosterone during puberty. humans demonstrate lots of variation, as a species. so, some dudes release huge amounts of testosterone and end up looking like hairy man-apes. others release a lot less and just end up with a little baby fuzz. and, yes: some women release enough testosterone to end up with hair on their chests and faces, too.

the fact that i've never grown any chest on my hair at all ever means that i didn't go through that testosterone flush. i can't tell you why not with any real certainty, but it's almost certainly genetic. note that my dad was a typical hairy italian jew.

and, hence this is where one needs to look at the genetic basis of things, for me. as mentioned: i think this is overly facile. it's not that easy. it's at most one of multiple factors. but, if i was a geneticist, that's where i'd be looking: the genes that regulate hormone release during puberty.

as an aside, that makes the issue reducible to a "hormonal imbalance" and the treatment of hormone therapy rational. but, it also means that the ultimate truth here is that i very much had a choice in correcting the imbalance: that i could have equally well chosen to pop testosterone pills. the ultimate choice here, at the end, has to be experiential, when seen that way.

26-08-2016: listening progress, but short day (mp3--sansa--440-IIs & mp3--laptop--speakers)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

Thursday, August 25, 2016

24/25-08-2016: good progress in listening (mp3--sansa--440-IIs)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

slept through the tornado

i slept through the rain - you could tell it was coming down, certainly. and, i'm a bit north of it's path. enough that i don't expect to see any damage.

it's a little unnerving, though.

www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/tornado-windsor-lasalle-1.3734826
i'll be damned.

http://www.faradaytents.com/
listening is moving slower than i'd like (as always....story of my life....), but i just want to update that i am 100% certain at this point about what is happening with the distorted audio. there's no longer any ambiguity at all whatsoever.

for some reason, the cord in this specific pair of headphones is picking up a charge. it's very easily grounded - all i have to do is touch the tips. but, it's audible, too. because i'm just that type of audio nerd...

the issue, of course, is not persistent. it will sometimes stop, which is why i had so many false positives. i'm still going to need to do a lot of testing to figure out exactly what it is that is creating the field and whether certain pieces of equipment are acting as catalysts or not.

but, the basic reality that i'm living in some kind of magnet is now beyond question. what i'm going to do about it is a little less clear.

i'm opting strongly for building a tent to place around the recording space.

Monday, August 22, 2016

very briefly

"Owing to variations in humidity and likely clothing, recommendations for summer and winter may vary; a suggested typical range for summer is 23 °C (73 °F) to 25.5 °C (78 °F), with that for winter being 20 °C (68 °F) to 23.5 °C (74 °F)."

https://books.google.ca/books?id=KBbHmp2yisEC&lpg=PA149&ots=yTqUP4xIOx&dq=%2BASHRAE+%2B%22recommended+temperatures%22&pg=PA149&redir_esc=y&hl=en#v=onepage&q=%20ASHRAE%20%20%22recommended%20temperatures%22&f=false

my personal preference would be in the higher end of that range - and actually even higher than that, if the external temperature allows for it.

j
fwiw, i am in the midst of some massive insomnia in what is now a three day and may become a four day vlog. i've had several two-three hour naps

over the last three days, but every time it seems like i'm going to actually sleep i end up jolted awake....

i haven't been as productive as i'd have liked. there have been some annoying issues that have had to be tended to, and a little bit of time wasting,

although i am finally a good ways of the way through the final sansa listen. that is: mp3--sansa--440-IIs. it sounds great, so far. but, these are the

unshielded cables that are prone to interference.

thankfully, the temperature has come down. the a/c is off, so the heat is off.

....but i'm getting the feeling that things are 'back to normal' for me, meaning that these multi-day vlogs will be the new normal and sleeping more than

three hours at a time will only happen when my body just refuses to co-operate any further.

what that also means is that the vlogs may start to come up two-three times a week, but in extra long installments. i simply don't know how much

longer i'll be awake for. but, this at least three day vlog is currently over two hours.

i've stated repeatedly that this is documentation. i split the chunks of time up the way i do for a reason. and, if i can't sleep for a week then the vlog

will be 8 hours and you'll just have to accept it as it is.

the device is unfrozen

i don't know when it unfroze. i know the heat was on full blast most of the morning. i just checked now because i felt it cooling down in here and it was working again.

i guess it will happen again at some point, but it's useful to know that the situation is recoverable and it's up to you whether or not it's worth swapping out.

j

Sunday, August 21, 2016

& there's no excuse for water falling through the ceiling

i haven't heard from anybody about the electrical yet.

but i'll tell you that if that happens one more time, i'm going to caulk over the wood panelling and you can deal with the water damage upstairs.

j

Saturday, August 20, 2016

that same electrical box blew again..

hi.

the one on top of the couch. i think this is the third time, now.

i just want to clarify that i really require the heat on because of the a/c upstairs. i understand that the upstairs tenant has weight problems and needs for it to be unreasonably cool, but that absolutely requires me to turn the heat on to compensate. otherwise, the conditions down here would be equivalent to a meat locker. even opening the window has no effect. i've tried reducing the heat on multiple occasions and i've found myself in really dangerous situations. i've woken up shivering, for example. clammy skin. it's like living inside a fridge. yes, it's unpleasant. but, it's worse - it's dangerous.

you have to keep in mind that the listed temperature on the thermostat becomes somewhat meaningless in the face of the refrigeration. it's like the wind chill effect, or the humidity effect. they'll say it's 27 degrees, but feels like 40 with the humidity. if i turn the heat off, the thermostat will say 27 degrees but it will feel like 18 with the a/c.

it's the summer. i like it in the mid to high 20s. i feel i have every right to enjoy that and that if he needs the a/c on so high that it overpowers it then he's liable to compensate that through electrical costs.

so, i'm sorry - but i need that device replaced yet again. i'm going to go ask paul, but i know he'll need to call you anyways. and, so i again need to suggest that something be done about the electrical, which probably includes finding a way to either turn his a/c down or put it on a separate circuit.

(pause)

it just came back, but now it's frozen on full blast at 43 degrees celsius, which is obviously unsafe....

(pause)

it's back off again. i've explained to paul that it is probably a fire hazard, but he said he'll wait to call ryan in the morning.

(pause)

i don't know if it will come on and off or not, but at least it seems to be shutting itself off when it overloads

(pause)

.....and now it's back on again, so that's what's happening. it's in a loop. it comes on, it overloads, it shuts off, it comes on, it overloads, it shuts off - and it's frozen, i can't do anything.

j

18/19-08-2016: the return of productive insomnia (finally free of nicotine?), without productivity

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i still haven't slept, fwiw. that's coming up on two full days, awake - excluding a short nap yesterday afternoon that i can't consider delineating. this could be a three day vlog. even if i crash soon, if i crash long...

i've spoken at length on my tendency to be awake for long periods, but i don't have a lot of evidence to show for it to this point. i think it's because i was still getting over the physical effects of nicotine withdrawal, which i found to be very powerful. i was also still smoking, if infrequently, meaning i kept pushing myself back off and into reset. it's been a month cold turkey, now - although this is not really intentional and after a long period of barely smoking. so, it's not the same as quitting cold turkey. it's more like a detox.

what i'm getting at is that it kind of feels like i tripped a wire or something. i've been doing something the last 36 hours that i actually rarely do: putting myself to bed. more characteristic is that i tend to wait until i just fall over. the result is that this very long day has not been productive.

but, it could be a sign of things to come. i could be back to my normal self, which is routine 45+ hour days. we'll see....

right now, i'm very hungry. we'll see how long i'm awake for after i get the blood sugar back up. long enough to finally finish with the 449s?

Friday, August 19, 2016

i have to point this out every now again...

i'm not even sure which sex i like better. well, i'm 35. nearly 36.  shouldn't i have that figured out? so, perhaps what that indicates is that i really don't like either.

there was a time where i reasoned that women were lesser douchebags, but i no longer think that that is true - women are just as douchey as men. that language is difficult, but i don't think it's confusing. but, i've discarded this thinking that women are emotionally superior, or something. we all have layers of hierarchy to disentangle. but, that means that i've discarded both sex and gender, preferentially. it's down entirely to individuality.

...and i hate everybody, as individuals. as people. as collections of character traits. almost everybody is a horrific asshole.

i don't even pretend to try.

yet, is it the case that i'm disinterested in others or the case that i'm obsessed with myself? there's a synthesis, no doubt.

if you cross out sex and gender as irrelevant altogether, and ignore that nobody agrees with this, what i've learned is that the biggest obstacle to a purely emotional relationship is that people want children. they say they don't, but they actually do.

therefore, i've concluded that i'm simply too young for a relationship.

there is some possibility that i may end up dating when i'm older, but my tinder profile will specify that i'm only interested in people that have adult children and that have minimal relationships with those adult children. that is my true sexual orientation: i'm only attracted to people that have a 0% interest in wanting to raise kids.

for now, file me under hyper-individualist asexual loner.

alter-reality update

august 19, 1996

the logistics around finding ways to create some supersexy swingin' sounds of my own


that was a lot longer between updates than expected, but i have good news - the room is finished and i've largely taken it over. i've been trying to find some friends to come down and jam but have been completely unsuccessful in convincing anybody. well, the truth is that there are at most three people on the planet that would admit to being a friend of mine, and none of them seriously want to play music. one of them is a skateboarder kid that i've known since the third grade and just listens to trendy hip-hop. we don't have much in common except that we went to a small school and have just kind of clung together as a consequence of it. there's some concept of trust there, at least, and sometimes that can be mutually reassuring. the other is a bmx kid that's into punk rock (sort of - i question his authenticity), but he has the attention span of a gnat and just could not make it through anything. i'm only really friends with him because of the assigned seating at school and, ironically, because i'm old friends with the other kid. they have a lot more in common with each other and get along better with each other. i'm kind of more of a conduit. i don't begrudge them - good for them. i'm happy i helped them find each other. it's more that i don't really know why i stick around with them, except that there's safety in some numbers. the other option is to turn myself into a sitting duck for bullies. again: at least there's some concept of trust with these two. but, they're the kind of teenagers that want to play outside on their boards/bikes or stay in and play video games. there's just no interest in any kind of art. i did ask the bmx kid already to try out the drums, and he just kind of laughed at me, as though he was obviously incapable. he said he didn't want me to yell at him for sucking. to be honest, i think he's right to react that way!

that's not to say that they don't respect my craft on some level. you have to remember that, while i'm only 15, i've been playing guitar for a long time, already. i can pick up just about anything in the style i like, which is broadly categorized as alternative/grunge. i'm truly pretty impressive for my age. but, for them, that's more intimidating than reassuring, especially considering that they can't put it into context. further, i don't have a reputation for patience. so, they can tell ahead of time what this is going to be like - i'm going to yell at them for not being able to keep up, and they're going to get frustrated and give up. then, i'm going to pout. again: they're right. that's exactly what would happen...

the third kid is a little more promising. he's a big marilyn manson fan and seems to legitimately want to start a punk band. i don't really like marilyn manson, but i am a really big nine inch nails fan and i like punk, too, so surely we can find some common ground. the problem is that he's kind of flaky. he wants to play bass, but he's more concerned about the image involved in getting a "goth guitar" than he is in getting something that sounds good. he's also stood me up a few times, already. so, i don't know if i can really rely on him. he seems like the type that would get bored and give up really easily if it doesn't immediately work out. i don't think he really wants to just jam...

i'm kind of thinking that it might be a better idea to just start recording on my own. i mean, none of these kids can play anything. at all. i can probably play drums better than the bmx kid, anyways. i'm sure i can play bass better than the goth kid - that's not even a serious question. i have this room here, and i'm in it quite a bit. why am i waiting for other people? why don't i just record the parts myself? if trent reznor and billy corgan can do it, why can't i?

speaking of the room, perhaps i should describe it. i wish i had a camera, but i wouldn't know how to get it on the internet, anyways. dad says you need a 'scanner', but i don't know what that is.

i've had a subscription to guitar world for a few years, now. it was a christmas present. well, she offered me national geographic - and i do legitimately like to read up on science - but i requested the guitar world because i thought i'd get more out of it. so, i had about fifty magazines to cut & paste into a collage to spread across the wall, which is now full of alternative rock icons.

in one corner of the room, there's a table with a luxman receiver connected to a tascam four-track that was borrowed from my dad's friend, larry. the tascam connects to a mixdown tape deck through the luxman. larry also left an acoustic guitar and an mxr phaser down here. he said he doesn't play van halen any more and the phaser is cheesy, otherwise. personally, i can't tell the difference between his phaser and the flanger in my multi-effects unit but i'm told there's an engineering difference in the effects.

as for my guitar setup, i really have everything i need to record in a small space. i'm on my second guitar, now, which is an entry level ibanez with a locking bridge. i moved up a little while back from your standard piece of shit hondo. the ibanez has a three-way selector switch and a very clean signal, which are things that i like, but there's also a knot in the neck that was lacquered over at the store and has become somewhat of a splinter hazard. there's some fret wear, too. believe it or not, sometimes the problems with the guitar make me miss my old hondo! but, the important thing is that it sounds good through the signal path, which is into a zoom 1010 multieffects unit and out into a cheri practice amplifier. the amp came with my first guitar, whereas i purchased the multieffects unit in 1995 with combined christmas money.

there is an electric bass on the table behind the recording devices. there are no speakers in the room, but there is a pair of sennheiser 440-II headphones. dad said they're awesome headphones and i should 'baby' them so they last. there are two microphones in this room, connected to sponges to deaden the sound. and, there is for real a drum kit in the other corner of the room along with a selection of sticks and a pair of brushes. the space in between is very cramped - we could fit at most two adults in here, and at most four kids. nor is there any ventilation (as it was designed to be sound proof), so it gets very hot with the equipment, very fast. i'll admit that i've overheated and had to leave the room a couple of times...

so, i've been down here all night playing guitar for most of the month. sometimes i'm practicing other people's music, and sometimes i'm playing my own. while i haven't started to do any recording yet, because i want to wait to find people to play with, i've been mapping out a number of songs using a combination of tablature and notation on some left over loose leaf from last year. i have a lot of music already written, some of it going back to 1994. i even have some notes that i wrote back in 1994. it's all carefully organized in a binder, waiting to be actualized.

but, am i ever going to find anybody to jam with? what if i don't? i'm really seriously considering just starting to record by myself. then, maybe, i can teach the parts to other people, after. do you think that's a good idea?

i also picked up the new white zombie record, which is a remix record. i'm not a really big white zombie fan, but i do enjoy their other records and i reasoned that experimental remixes of white zombie songs would have to be really amazing to hear. so, i was hoping it would be a little more abstract, like those crazy nine inch nails remix records that i really like. on first listen, i found it to be too techno for me but it's grown on me a little and i think that it's really flat out demented qualities may prove it to be somewhat of a keeper, in the long run. what do you think?



http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/08/the-logistics-around-finding-ways-to.html

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

concerned over lack of response

16-08-2016: day blown due to blown breaker (possible sabotage...)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

fuse situation less urgent (still would be nice to fix soon...)

hi.

it turns out the outlets around the stove are on the stove breaker. so, i dragged the fridge across the kitchen and also moved the internet into the kitchen. i guess i'll want to avoid making eggs until it's back up. but, that means that the immediate concern is not pressing and i can wait it out. although, i mean....it's out everywhere except those two outlets around the stove. it's not a good situation. it's just not urgent anymore.

i'm assuming it''s the fuse. i don't know, really. i know i heard something pop when the microwave was at 0:01, and then everything was out.

j
it's been a few days, now, and this is likely to be quiet around here for a bit, still. i'm going to commit to an alter-reality update when i get my electrical back up...

it's just that it kind of sucks typing while sitting on the floor.

i think i blew a fuse down here this evening. around 7ish. i thought i was done for the night. but, it turns out that the breaker around the stove is still up. i only have one way on to the internet down here...

i could live for a few hours without the internet. i mean, i've chosen not to. but i'd be ok. i'm more relieved by getting the fridge plugged back in (by dragging it across the kitchen...).

that just means that i'm that much further behind. but it's a minor annoyance, really, in the bigger scheme.

i'm hoping to get most of the sansa listening done tonight, so i can finish it up tomorrow. but, i haven't updated the listening plan here (it's on the vlogs....). so...

i have a number of sources and three sets of phones, as well as several speakers (although not all will be used). what i'm going to be doing is listening to the full ten hour inri002-inri015 sequence through every combination that i can think of, then draw as many conclusions as i can. so, that's going to be a while.

the alter-reality starts more seriously on the 1st. that's probably about how long it will take to get back to finishing period 1.2.

but, that is the last segment that requires major work. 1.3 is done. 2.1 is done. 2.2 is done. 2.3 is done. 2.4 is pretty much done. so, this will be moving very quickly by the end of the year.

everything takes longer than i expect. it's coming. that's all i can really say.

Friday, August 12, 2016

12-08-2016: listening started, but overshadowed by long rants. mp3---sansa---201s.

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

that said, i feel i can put these things aside for now and start the process of listening.

this could be up to two weeks. and, we should be into early fall by then.
my brain is ok regarding growths (for now), but there's something lodged in my ear. as time has progressed, i've become more and more frustrated with this ear doctor - who despite reading an mri report that indicated that something was found inside my ear, decided to discharge me. the mri demonstrated that i was right: there's something in my ear. the response is discharge? it seems like she runs a more profitable plastic surgery operation on the side. i've argued for years that cosmetic surgeons should not be allowed to run medical practices...

she got me the mri, anyways. i had to prod for it, but it wasn't a complete waste of time...

i have an appointment with another ear specialist in december that i have yet to cancel (i suspected i may want a second opinion...) and i may very well end up bringing him the mri scans. i don't have a lot of confidence in this doctor.

for right now, the second scan is scheduled for september and i'll just have to wait and see. it could be anything from a growth to a dead insect to ear wax. but, i need to be clear: the mri did pick something up. there is something in there. and, i did make the right choice in insisting i see an ear doctor rather than a neurologist.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

finishing the record-keeping aspect of the write-up for inri015 was an unexpectedly tedious process, but it is now done. i have not yet started my epic listening process, and will not likely do so tonight. i'm going to do a few more record-keeping type things to prepare for it, and begin the process in earnest when i get back from my appointment tomorrow.

....presuming that i'm not devastated by the discussion.

i have no idea. really. i know that there's something very wrong with my ear. i got the mri to check for structural damage - tmj type issues. i know the radiologist insisted on redoing the mri using a process that is usually intended to search for tumours. but, i have little reason to think i have a tumour.

obviously, if i come home tomorrow with the understanding that i have brain cancer, my life is going to change quite a bit. i don't expect this. but, we'll see what happens.

for right now, i'm just focusing on getting done the things i need to get done in order to pivot to a pure listening phase that i expect to last for roughly the next week. i have two more records to formally close when that is done, inri014 and inri015. i can then move on to the singles for the second record and eventually the second record itself.

closing inri015

audio permanently closed for inri015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

Monday, August 8, 2016

08-08-2016: rendered inoperative by a debilitating weather-related headache

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i've been very sensitive to the weather for years and years. for as long as i can remember, i've tended to get nasty stomach aches when the pressure outside changes. it's to the point that i can predict the season changes through reductio ad estomach - that is, by appeal to stomach. right now, i seem to be reacting very negatively to the reduction of humidity that came in last night. it's a really brutal sinus headache. so, loud music - and particularly absurdly loud music - is not a very good idea at the moment.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

07-08-2016: baby steps in finishing the record-keeping for inri014 (but vlog is all rants...)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

baby steps can be very important, sometimes.

i closed the audio for inri014 back on the first, but haven't finished the write-up yet. i did finally get the record-keeping done, at least - although the writeup is not yet complete and won't be for some time.

i should get that section of inri015 done soon, too.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

06-08-2016: groceries, new phones break-in & august concert schedule look-ahead

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

where have you been?

"it's alright, we know where you've been."

i wanted to finish up to inri015 before i stopped, but i got to a point where i just had to shower. i felt i wasn't focusing and needed a bit of a break. i tried a lot of things, and i was just so horribly distracted...

wednesday was spent doing laumdry. on thursday, i cleaned the apartment top to bottom. i did a compost run on friday and picked up a new set of phones. today, i did some groceries - although it wasn't as much as i wanted.

i think i can finish the boring part of writing up inri014 and inri015 today - tracklistings. etc. but, i'm going to check the show schedule, first.

either tonight or tomorrow, i'm going to begin a final listening of inri002-inri015 over every source i have. i will then move on.

the alter-reality kicks in for good on sept 1. that will be the next thing i focus on.

...and i have an appointment on the 11th to discuss the mri results with the doctor the referred me in the first place. i don't know what to expect, but think i will probably walk out with another referral to some kind of bone specialist.

water damage from the air conditioner (is that really the best window for it? how about a bucket?)

hi.

brief email....

i'm just attaching some pictures of the damage created by the a/c on the front step, as well as the consequences of it on the space under the step.

i'm currently running two fans in the space to air it out. i've also left the door open and am keeping the window open over night. but, why not just put a bucket on the step to catch the water?






Thursday, August 4, 2016

i wrote this during the 2008 election cycle. it's out of sequence, so it won't be up very long. it's about my perceptions of obama in the lead up to november....

the point is that this isn't new. not only did i not buy into the hope, but i was actually deeply disillusioned that the country fell for it so badly - and to an extent seemed to legitimately buy into it.

-

face in sand and textbooks filled with dread
crazy ideals swirl inside your head
the rhetoric of competition just deflates
how is it that some beings can actually relate?

no. no. no. n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-o. what i say is....

(chirping)

psst.
it's ok.
it's safe out here.
the warmth of the sand is lost, but i think that you might find that the crispness of the air is refreshing in it's own respect.

pssst.
it's ok.
we would like you to reappear.
i know that it seems as though you can't, but if you yank that head out of the sand...

...your descendants might some day spread some wings and float off into the galaxy!
that's what you've always wanted, isn't it?
just to fly off into the galaxy?
to spread some wings and float away?
oh, what a wonderful goal that is.

first...
enjoy the breeze.
it's been so long, hasn't it?
now...
take a look at the world around you..
and look what you've done.

i'm not just saying that.
really.
take a look around you...
look what you've done.
put down the sports and the porn and the reality tv and the badly acted reinterpretations of star trek and look what you've done!

in what,
in the name of democracy?
and the spread of human rights?
of freedom of speech,
and of freedom of thought?
look what you've done!
our most cherished axioms are tainted now, they're done.

you shoot your neighbour in the face, you think you're free.
you shoot my sibling in the face, tell me i'm free.
they'll blame it on me,
but this is not my hypocrisy.
you're shooting people in the face and telling them they're free.

no.
i don't want to be
part of this polity
that would ignore these pleas
if it's up to me,
i'll choose not to be
in your community
if you'll ignore these pleas


https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/first-movement
i took the mri looking for something like this, in an attempt to rule out ms. i was never looking for a growth. i'm not surprised that they couldn't find anything - i don't see any reason to take another with a contrast agent. but, there may be some subtleties in the imaging. i obviously just simply don't know.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporomandibular_joint_dysfunction

progress update relating to inri014

i've had a down period the last two weeks that's a consequence of a variety of things, but i don't expect any further political commentary that is in any way meaningful.

i have a meeting on aug 11 to discuss the mri results with the ear doctor. i expect that it will lead to a referral to see another doctor - either a bone specialist of some sort or possibly a dentist. there is some possibility that i may get a bad surprise. a lot of uncertainty remains around this, and i just have to wait.

this "hybrid double ep single" that i left off at is in fact constructed. i just need to finish writing the notes - which shouldn't be taking so long.

i also need to be cleaning for the rest of the week, and will need to do a compost run, soon.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

01-08-2016: stagnation, followed by realizing the need to pivot

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

yeah. i just want to have fun. so, fuck off.

but stop listening to my music on your fucking potatoes. is that language you understand?
i'm a little more productive today, but i'm still dragging. i just spent a while dropping the relevant vlogs on to the facebook page.

if i actually had any fans, they couldn't complain. it's a lot of content.

i've also closed the door to the other room, which has the effect of both eliminating the air conditioning from my main living space and turning it on in the recording studio. that may actually turn out relatively well, in both ways. but, i haven't really tested it yet.

the tracklisting was finalized and uploaded on the morning of the 31st. i was hoping to get the bureaucracy done yesterday, but it was just a wash. i should get it done by the time i fall asleep, today.

i should get a call from the doctor's today. i'm going to avoid checking email until tomorrow.

Monday, August 1, 2016

31-07-2016: more mri drama

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

closing inri014

audio permanently closed for inri014.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
that was a really weird day...

i found myself spending basically the whole night listening to songs about rain. i dunno. i guess i just wanted to waste the day.

i actually think that i can close inri014 before i crash. let's see...